“Once Upon a Time” is now the title of a new NBC-TV series based loosely upon the stories of Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Rumpelstiltskin, and the Wicked Witch are thrown in there too among the cast. It’s basically the story of how the jealous witch doomed everyone in Storyland to live together in a little New England town with no memories of their true identities and no hope for a “happily ever after” life unless they are rescued by the jettisoned-from-her-at-birth daughter of Sleeping Beauty thirty years later.
ABC-TV is countering “Once” with a little story of their own called “Grimm” and it’s all about a cop descendant of a family named Grimm that has been hunting down fairy story monsters for centuries and now these surviving bad guys are out to get him in the knowledge that he’ the last Grimm obstacle they face on this planet.
“Once” and “Grimm” are both creative departures from the glut-wasteland that has taken over television programming in recent years. These themes make me think that several other fairy tale show plot lines may be in the works for adult programming. Here are a few suggestions:
(1) Ma Hubbard’s. A little old lady on Shoebox Avenue keeps her two-story place open as a boardinghouse for appearances sake, but it’s really just a refuge for her twelve adult children who cannot make it in the world on their own due to their lack of higher education or training for better paying skilled jobs and the sorry state of the economy. Each week Ma Hubbard has to teach one or more of her kids a new lesson om how to work the system for the sake of survival without actually going back to school or getting a job. In the show’s first episode, presidential candidate Ron Paul innocently books a room with Ma Hubbard, only to learn what’s really going on. His verbal exchanges with Ma Hubbard are likely to become a cult classic.
(2) Gulliver, Travel Secretary. Joe Gulliver takes a job as travel secretary for the San Francisco Giants of the National League. Joe does fine until he books the Giants to play a game in Pygmy Land, The pygmies fall in love with the Giants and they beg Joe to book them rooms in Frisco for the regular season. In episode one, Gulliver is so tied up by the pygmies that he cannot get anything else done. When the Giants have to seek Gulliver out to help them with their own travel plans, they instead fire him for “laying down on the job.” A talented pygmy is signed to play shortstop, but he is killed (squashed actually) by the first screaming ground hugger ball that comes his way.
(3) Criminal Minds: Hansel and Gretel. A crazy old woman who lives in a cabin in the woods and bakes medicinal marijuana brownies is the suspected “unsub” in the disappearance of two children who are witnessed entering her home and never leaving.
(4) Fear Factor: The Big Bad Wolf. Three contestants with a phobic fear of wolves are invited to take a five-mile hike dressed in red exercise outfits on their way to Grandma’s House at the end of the trail. When they arrive, they find three houses, but are told that only one is Grandma’s. Each is invited to pick a house from homes made of straw, sticks, and brick. Contestant No. One picks the house of straw and is immediately eaten by a wolf once the door is opened. Contestant No. Two picks the house of straw and is also immediately eaten by a wolf once the door is opened. Finally, the third contestant takes the brick house, but she too finds a wolf waiting for her at the door. “Throw her in the cooler,” says the wolf, “and I’ll have the lady for supper. I couldn’t eat another bite now after finishing off those first two.”
(5) The Political Wizards of Oz: Michelle Bachman stars as Dorothy in this classic remake of the great Oz adventure., starring political actors 0f note. Rick Perry stars as The Scarecrow, Dick Cheney stars as The Tin Man, and Barak Obama stars as The Cowardly Lion. Newt Gingrich is cast as The Wizard, Sarah Palin will play the Wicked Witch, and Barbara Bush will take on the role of Glenda the Good, with the part of Toto, Dorothy’s dog, going to Bo, the Obama family pet. With the help of digital special effects, James Carville will play the role of all the winged monkeys. Arnold Schwarzenegger will handle the role of Mayor of the Munchkin City.
I’m sure there are plenty of better ideas out there too, but these do it for me – for now.
I’d love to hear some of your own new storyline suggestions. TV’s flat awful these days. What will we do for laughs once the Republicans finish their presidential debate series?
Houston, Baseball, & Other Musings.
The Pecan Park Eagle 