Sandy Hook: “Born on Earth to Bloom in Heaven”

Yesterday’s horror came with all the shocks of the now long list of previous violent attacks upon the innocent in America by mentally disturbed gunmen, but with two powerful statistical and demographic differences. “Sandy Hook” claimed over twice the lives of the infamous “Columbine” – and 20 of these now dead souls were simply little children – babies in life – and now no more or less than babies in death, to be mourned forever by their shocked and grieving parents – but probably soon enough forgotten by the rest of us, as our turbulent world moves on to the next media blanket coverage of our building path of self-inflicted disaster.

Is that just how it’s going to be from here on out? Are we going to simply keep on playing dodgeball with the issues that stand in the way of, hopefully, but not warrantably, making things better for everyday life in America?

The social problem behind incidents like “Sandy Hook” is extremely complicated and polarizing around a number of issues we normally either avoid or butt heads upon, and there’s no wizard alive who can speak to the certainty of how much each major factor contributes to these sporadic outbursts of violence. As one who has spent most of his life as a mental health professional, working with some people who fit the psychological profile of most mass killers, I’m going to make a humble attempt here to outline what’s involved in causing the increase in this violence. All these factors share this much in common: They are all issues that we have failed to resolve, anyway:

(1) Breakdown of the Traditional Nuclear Family. Thank God, I’ve never worked with an adolescent or young man who acted out as the perpetrator in Sandy Hook did yesterday, but each of those I saw who were on shaky ground were either products of a divorced marriage, a home in which there never was a father, or they were kids who suffered from serious abuse or neglect. These circumstances often produced kids who grew up as loners, sometimes surviving quietly on the sidelines of everything, while building up enormous blame for peers, parents, authority, God, and the world in general. – And here’s the kicker. – Sometimes these kids grew up with this outlook, even when all the externals of their lives (Mom, Dad, etc.) were apparently in place and in working order.

(2) The Evaporation of a Guiding God Concept in Childhood. Most of us older Americans grew up with a working concept of God that came to us everyday, and more often on Sundays, of who God Is – and what our spiritual purpose is as the Children of God on earth. Today, the word “God” is hardly even spoken aloud in many homes, except as the third initial in a texted expression of “OMG.”

(3) The Decline and Failure of Mental Health Services in the 21st Century. Effective individual and family counseling and therapy was more broadly available forty years ago than it is today. Today these services are often defeated by insurance companies and health care plans that limit both the services and the providers that one may choose to engage for help. In the meanwhile, social/mental health problems have expanded far beyond the intelligence of those elite psychiatrists who design and try to periodically update the industry’s standard diagnostic manual. I can almost guarantee you that the diagnosis we finally get for the “Sandy Hook” killer will seem to fit, but still fall far short of telling us who the young man really was. – He will be the kind of guy who should have been on medication, but wasn’t. – A lot of good that does those dead children now. We need better mental health services, including better research into the biochemical factors that may sometimes be the major contributing factors in this kind of anti-social behavior.

(4) Guns. Guns are the stickiest wicket in the pack and we all know it. What do we do now? Isn’t it possible for us to keep our single-shot defense and hunting weapons, while getting rid of automatic and semi-automatic weapons of war, and making private ownership of a gun tougher than ever? Is that too hard to do? Aren’t the 100,000 Americans who take a bullet annually worth the effort? I have no illusions that we will ever be able to totally eliminate the illegal black market for all kinds of weapons, but can’t we do a better job of making that harder to do – and harder upon the people caught selling, possessing, or using an illegal gun?

(5) Technology. Today it is possible to gain instant attention from the whole world for almost anything. Just click on to Facebook, Twitter, or You Tube sometime to see how popular electronic attention-getting has become. – That’s right. – Mass killers crave attention too – and in a most perverse way. – And they know they are going to get it for their sick actions in today’s “wired world.”

Summary: Enough is enough. We need to do something that will outlive the immediate emotional bruising of “Sandy Hook” and survive as a step in the right corrective direction. Based upon all the factors listed above, and the possible factor that I too could be wrong, here is my brief anticipatory finding we shall get about the “Sandy Hook” killer:

This younger of two brothers probably grew up as a loner. He likely never felt close to his father, but he was most probably controlled and protected by a mother that other people seemed to really like. He took his parents’ divorce hard, but buried the rage he felt over the loss of his dad. He possibly blamed his mom for the loss of his dad – and maybe he even blamed the kids she gave herself to as a teacher’s aide years earlier at the Sandy Hook School for “stealing” the of love and attention he craved.

When he reached the point of giving up as a young man, he planned to take out his mom and then go to Sandy Hook to pay them back for getting the love that he felt belonged to him. He also acted out upon strangers (that may not have been so innocent in his sick view of things) to assure that he would not be forgotten by the world he was leaving. Killing Mom alone would not have caused the networks to rearrange their Friday schedules as this act would do, even bringing the President of the United States near tears in televised commentary upon the vile act.

Footnote: When God evaporates, we have to function as God – and when we do – things can go terribly awry.

I’m hoping and praying we do something this time. It’s only going to get worse, if we can’t find a way to start a walk down the path of recovery and remedy.