Posts Tagged ‘Houston Texans’

Football Ain’t Baseball

November 18, 2013
Reliant Stadium November 17, 2013 Raiders 28 - Texans 23

Reliant Stadium
November 17, 2013
Raiders 28 – Texans 23

Football “ain’t” baseball. No kidding?

Here are the basic differences in the two sports at the top professional levels:

1) The MLB regular season plays out over 162 games. The NFL regular season is 16 games long.

2) Each NFL game is the equivalent in importance to about 10 MLB games.

3) By the time an NFL team plays 4 games, it has completed 25% of the whole regular season.

4) If an NFL team loses 8 games in a row, it has accomplished the equivalent of something that’s never happened in MLB – an 80 game losing streak.

5) If an MLB team loses 8 games in a row, fans wonder if the team will get to 10 – and then they wonder how many other times the team may do another double-digit losing streak in the same season.

6) Most MLB managers usually do not get fired for simply losing 8 games in a row.

7) Most NFL coaches who lose 8 games in a row on the heels of compiling a near .500 win percentage record over 6 years probably should be – fired, that is.

8) The Houston Astros are a baseball team that is now losing for the sake of re-building a club that is stocked with winning players in their prime.

9) The Houston Texans are a football team that is now losing because they have held onto an inadequate veteran quarterback and a shortage of talent depth for a too conservative offensive scheme that could only work with a QB like Case Keenum, some loosening of the reins on the QB’s freedom to audible change based on his particular abilities, the presence of a serious running game, and greater depth in all positions, but especially in the areas of adequate pass protection.

10) In baseball rebuilding, you don’t fire guys like Astros GM Jeff Luhnow or manager Bo Porter anytime soon, if ever. In baseball, it’s time for Mr. McNair to consider firing Texans Coach Gary Kubiak and also to take a real hard look at Texans GM Rick Smith. I had not slid all the way into the Texans leadership questions until yesterday, when I was there to witness Kubiak replace new QB Keenum with everybody’s face of the failed past, Matt Schaub.

Schaub was greeted with a waterfall of boos. Then he promptly went out and demonstrated exactly why they were deserved. In three shots from the red zone over the last quarter plus change part of the game, all Schaub could do from three trips closed to the goal was set up two field goals and an argument with the great Andre Johnson on where the latter should have been on a failed fourth down pass in the last gasping minute of the game.

Kubiak later explained that he put Schaub in because he didn’t think it was fair to ask of rookie Keenum what he was about to ask of the more experienced Schaub for the sake of winning.

Forget that B.S. – Keenum is the guy who hit Graham on a remarkable 42 yard TD pass in the first half that Schaub never could have pulled off. – And Keenum is the guy who has hit Andre Johnson for his only 5 TDs of 2013 season over the previous two games after the great one got “nuthin, but nuthin” from Schaub over all of the earlier season.

Kubiak said he put Schaub in the game for the sake of winning.

Oh really? – Win what? Had the Texans won, they would have risen to 3-7 with no playoff chances. So they lost – and dropped to 2-8 – with no playoff chances.

Yesterday, and the rest of the season, is the time to find out all the team can learn about Case Keenum. You can’t learn without playing. It is not the time to put in a guy who has no face in the club’s future for the sake of winning a meaningless game that Case Keenum had a better chance of chasing.

As for as I’m concerned, it’s time for the Texans to back up the truck on Gary Kubiak – and start over.

As for the Reliant Stadium experience from the boondocks section seats, I can now scratch that one off my bucket list. My first live Texans game included paying $75 each for three “just outside the Pearly Gates” seats on the aisle from one end zone row and a four block walk in the mid-day heat from a $20 parking lot. I must have risen 50 times in the game to let people in and out on beer and bathroom runs. Then I basically watched the game on the big screen – and not the much harder to see live action.

Shoot! – I can watch the game in HD at home without ever once being asked to get up so somebody can walk past me.

November 17. 2013: Two former presidents under one one roof still couldn't save the Texans.

November 17. 2013: Two former presidents under one one roof still couldn’t save the Texans.

C’mon baseball season! – You’ve already been gone too long!

Watt’s Up!

January 8, 2012

In the absence of a game ticket or TV screen at the moment it occurred, I had to rely upon this radio transcription into my brain of the interception by J.J. Watt that gave the Texans the lead near halftime and turned momentum in favor of Houston for the rest of the day in the club's 31-10 first round playoff win over the Bengals. This picture was later retrieved by a sophisticated electroencephalography process. It could not be represented in color because my brain only processes football in black and white, but I am appreciative of the fact that the scientific folks who pulled this feature off were able to recapture the fact that my brain did digest the exact moment of catch that many people missed with the naked eye. No ego intended by this statement. It just seems to be a biogenetic thing.

Watt’s going on? Watt’s happening? Watt’s up? Who dat? Whazzup!!!

What a day was Saturday! How long has it been since Houston sports fans have enjoyed such a clear day of overwhelming satisfaction with victory on one of the big stages of professional football, baseball, or basketball? I guess we could hand it to the Astros for finally winning their first and only pennant back in 2005, but that joy was quickly squelched by that 4-0 in games whitewashing put on our boys by the Chicago White Sox. I personally would have to go with the 1995 4-0 blitz by the Rockets over the young Shaq Magic in the NBA Finals.

This Houston Texan thing landed yesterday like lightning in a bottle. – Rookie Watt turns the momentum of the game around and gives the Texans a lead they will never surrender with less than a minute to play in the first half. – Rookie Yates quarterbacks the Texans to an error-free win, also making sure that veteran deep ball charmer Andre Johnson gets the first TD passing bomb in franchise history. – Aryan Foster runs wild for 153 yards and two rushing TDs. – Defensive Coach Wade Phillips leads the “D” to a scoring shutdown of the Bengals in the second half. – D back Jonathan Joseph plays flawlessly against his old Bengal mates, even getting to smoothly knock down their last meaningless passing attempt near game’s end. – Bum Phillips was present to wake up the echoes from the start, igniting a decibel level of cheering that stayed high for the rest of the day. – Owner Bob McNair and GM Rick Smith got to beam with post-game joy. – And Coach Gary Kubiak almost smiled. – Who among us could have asked for anything more?

Now it’s on to Baltimore and a chance to take this joy to an even higher level of hallelujah! Every now and then, life dishes up a little fun that stirs the heart without messing up the mind. This is one of those times. Enjoy it while it lasts.



SMU’S 28-6 WIN OVER PITTSBURGH in the BBVA Compass Bowl on Saturday, Jan. 7th, pushed the Texas Division I school perfect sweep in bowls to 6 wins when combined  with earlier triumphs by Texas, Texas A&M, Baylor, TCU, and Houston. When has that ever happened in the State of Texas previously?

CONDOLENCES TO SAM HOUSTON STATE for dropping their FCS game to North Dakota State, 17-6, up in Frisco, Texas yesterday too.  A 14-1 record is reason enough to celebrate, but never when that one “L” comes is the last, most important game of the season for the small college national title.

CONDOLENCES TOO TO CHAMPION NORTH DAKOTA STATE,  if their fans get the wish expressed on one stadium placard. It read: “BRING ON LSU!” to which I can only suggest one of the world’s oldest wisdoms: “Be careful what you wish for. LSU is not Sam Houston State.”

One more nod: Tomorrow night it’s finally time for the LSU-ALABAMA BCS BOWL title game. – GEAUX TIGERS!

Headlining the Texans’ Sainted Loss

September 26, 2011

Heartache’s sad  headlines – all tell the tale,

Sunday was lost – ‘fore our ship could win-sail.

That’s a neaux geaux – read the Chronicle lines,

Houston’s fond hope – must again ride the pines.



Schaub was good, Brees was great,

Stumbling and rumbling, they sounded debate,

With no time to chew – and hard masticate,

Matt lost his cud – in the 4th quarter gate.



Casey earns the spotlight – no question of that,

Big James is a winner – a hard-rumbling cat,

He blocked, caught, and ran – made a diving snatch too,

We’re going to hear more – ‘fore this young man is through.



And sleek man, Sir Andre – was Johnson enough,

To turn out the lights on the “who dat?” crowd stuff,

But he can’t do it all – with a fake – and a bluff,

Gotta get him the ball – when the going gets tough.



The big missing headline – is easy to see,

Even for base-balling people like me,

You can’t win in football – philosophically,

By Going for Seven – and Settling for Three.

Top Ten Reasons Why The Astros Have a Better Chance of Reaching the World Series Than the Texans Do of Reaching the Super Bowl.

January 24, 2010

Drayton McLane, Houston Astros.

10. The Astros don’t have to worry about finding a running game. If there’s any running to be done, the Astros have Michael Bourn.

9. The Astros play their games in Minute Maid Park, which already saw a World Series in its sixth year of play. The Texans, however, play their games at Reliant Stadium, which has only seen the Carolina Panthers play there and the New England Patriots win there in a Super Bowl. Reliant is also too close to the moribund and without-a-Super-Bowl-action-champion-site-of-any-kind as the Astrodome for over forty years,

8. The Astrodome and Reliant Stadium are rumored to have been built on the site of a Native American burial ground. Minute Maid Park was built on the site  of the former Union Station, a ground walked upon by every major champion from all sports and all walks of life in the 20th century who ever visited Houston.

7. Lightning regularly strikes Minute Maid Park at 3:00 AM following every Astros home-stand opening game win. These events are usually followed by double-digit win streaks by the Astros and instant wealth and social good fortune for all fans who happened to have been sitting in the area of the ballpark that was later that night struck by lightning.

6. Relative to each other geographically in Houston, the Astros are located to the north and the Texans are situated to the south. As everybody who has studied history already knows, the North always wins. Right?

Bob McNair, Houston Texans.

5. Astro fans main-gate the ballpark, going inside and pouring all of their positive energies into pulling for the Astros live at the actual game. Many Texan fans simply tail-gate in the parking lots next to Reliant Stadium and never go inside. They watch the game on portable television sets and are too busy pouring beer down their gullets to pour positive energy live into the Texans.

4. As a source of good-buddy-knowledge talent, the Astros rely upon outcasts from the lately very successful Philadelphia Phillies. The Texans rely upon refugees from the so-so Denver Broncos.

3. The Astros once traded Larry Andersen to Boston for a rookie named Jeff Bagwell. The Texans once used the top pick in the NFL draft to select Mario Williams over either Vince Young or Reggie Bush.

2. Astros owner Drayton McLane is in the wholesale grocery business. He could afford to feed his club during hard times. Astros owner Bob McNair is into oil and horse racing Axle grease on horse meat burgers does not sound like a diet that many Texans could sustain over time.

1. Tal Smith is President of Baseball Operations for the MLB Astros. Rick Smith is General Manager of the NFL Texans. Astros take home the “Senior Smithsonian of Sports Award.”