Posts Tagged ‘culture’

My Top Ten Early Rock ‘n Roll Hits

August 17, 2010

This has to be said up front. There really is no way to come up with a Top Ten Early Rock ‘n Roll Hits list that doesn’t leave someone or something deserving totally out of the picture. When it come to all the early performing giants, people like Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Elvis, we could take almost any of their songs and justify its place on a legitimate list.

With that much in mind, what I’ve tried to do here is simply list the songs that came along and struck me hard, from 1954 through 1957, when I was 16 to 19 years old, when Jimmy Menutis’s club in Houston was about to start its reign, as the mind-set, music, and culture changing songs of that era. The songs I love from that era are ten times greater, at least, so that means that my final top tem bunch leaves out many great hits – and even some great artists – people like Buddy “Cricking” Holly, for gosh sakes. That being said, here’s my list:

Turner's work fore-ran the great radio crossover of "black music" to mainstream radio, but it all begin to happen in 1954.

(1) “Shake, Rattle, and Roll” (1954). Who among us from that era could ever forget the beat and the lyrics of the song – and the deep, happy voice of the man who performed them, Big Joe Turner? “I’m like a one-eyed cat, peepin’ in a seafood store! – I can look at you and tell you ain’t no child no more!”

“Shake, Rattle, and Roll” should be the unarguable first rock ‘n roll song on everyone’s list. If it’s not, you weren’t listening at the moment of the genre’s big bang experience, when the music you could only hear on all black radio stations suddenly got too big and too commercial to be passed over any longer by the all-white “Goodnight, Irene” – playing music stations. I may be wrong, but I think “Shake” was the first to make it all the way over to Houston’s two most popular white AM radio DJ’s, Paul Berlin of KNUZ and Bob Byron of KILT.

"Maybelline" was a real gas pedal pusher.

(2) “Maybelline” (1955). This one blows past our earliest discovery of Elvis in “That’s All Right” and I don’t know how many other songs by Little Richard and Fats Domino, plus all those great group hits. like “Earth Angel” by The Penguins, but it was the great Chuck Berry at his “drivin’ fool” first best effort at singlehandedly taking over the new music that both accelerated and satisfied the angst of our testosterone-pumping, adolescent minds, bodies, and souls – and especially so when we climbed behind the wheels of our muscle machines and hit the Gulf Freeway for Galveston with our girls by our sides on those ever always practical bench car seats that used to be the app that made our driving world a happy place to be.

“As I was a motivatin’ over the hiil, I caught Maybelline in a Coupe DeVille; Cadillac rollin’ on a open road; nothing out-run my V-8 Ford.”

(3) “Long Tall Sally” (1955). Little Richard is one of the music artists with a legitimate claim on the “Father of Rock n’ Roll” title if it weren’t for the fact the presence of so many others in that category suggests that the change was a process movement in music and not a sudden birth in high C section from the rhythm and blues genre. If anything, rock n’ roll came together in a way that united early black and white music folk forms, taking a whole lot from black rhythm and blues, but also borrowing from white country and western too.

We could easily substitute “Tutti Frutti” or “Rip It Up’ here and lose nothing from the idea that Little Richard was a major first contributor to the earliest echoes of rock ‘n roll.

Bill Haley and The Comets hit us big time!

(4) “Rock Around The Clock” (1955). No rock and roll song ever landed harder upon my generation of the 1950s, not even “Blue Suede Shoes.” When a bunch of us first heard it, we had all gone together as a group to the Loews State Theater in downtown Houston to see the highly touted new movie of teenage rebellion called “Blackboard Jungle.” Unknown to us until that moment, the movie started with Bill Haley and the Comets performing this now iconic song for the first time that any of us had ever heard it.

“One! Two! Three O’Clock! Four O’Clock Rock! ~ Five! SIx! Seven O’Clock! EIght O’Clock Rock! ~ Nine! Ten! Eleven O’Clock! Twelve O’Clock Rock! ~ We’re Gonna Rock! Around! The Clock Tonight! …”

What happened next was both amazing and original to the situation. We were all on our feet cheering. And dancing in the aisles. We’ve been dancing and cheering ever since. And “Rock Around the Clock” remains today the same as it was from public birth – The International Anthem of Rock ‘n Roll Joy!

Fats Domino: "Baby, don't you let your dog bite me!"

(5) “I’m In Love Again” (1955). So many other great hits from the music genius of Fats Domino would fit here. This one just happened to hit my teenage ears over the car radio on a night I was driving home from another new venture into falling in love. Unfortunately, it was neither my first nor last trip over the falls of bittersweet pain, but good old Fats did his part that night in helping to write the soundtrack of my early times life.

“Yes, it’s me, and I’m in love again! – Had no lovin’ since you know when! OOH-WEE, BABY! – OOH-OOH-WEE! BABY DON’T YOU LET YOUR DOG BITE ME!”

It wasn’t her dog that bit me back in the day; nor was it the bittersweet music of good old Fats that tore into my heart and soul where women were concerned. I just had some growing up to do about love and what was really possible in a relationship between a man and a woman, including the big bopper lesson that learning about love is a lifetime school.

Carl Perkins

(6) Blue Suede Shoes (1956). Carl Perkins wrote it. Elvis Presley gave it immortality.  In the minds of many, it remains as the greatest rock ‘n roll hit of all time. – I remember going to see Carl Perkins perform at the old Sam Houston Coliseum in Houston around this time. The place was packed because of “Blue Suede Shoes” hit and we were literally swept away in the human crush of a packed house when Perkins finally got around to doing his famous number. It was also around this same time period tha Carl’s friend, ELvis, was making and releasing his own version of “Blue Suede Shoes” in a much faster and hipper tempo and style on a record that would carry the hit to other galaxies.

Perkins wrote the song one night after he came home from playing a high school prom and over-hearing a young man telling his date, “Listen, when we’re dancing, please try not to step on my blue suede shoes. OK?” Sometimes good things happen when we are paying attention.

Right Carl?

Jerry Lee Lewis

(7) Great Balls of Fire (1956). Substitute “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On” or any other favorite Jerry Lee Lewis song here and I have no problem with the change as long as the man and his dawn-stormin’ music makes the list. Jerry Lee was the most insanely talented early contributor to “R&R” from the country/white Protestant gospel culture that produced him.

The life and music of Jerry Lee Lewis left everybody breathless and with a whole lot of shakin’ goin’ on.

(8) “Good Golly, Miss Molly” (1957). Little Richard returns to the list with a hit that was big enough to impress a 10-year old future President of the United States. Young Bil Clinton of Hope, Arkansas was busy picking up the saxophone and the music of Little Richard around the time this mega-hit came out. He loved it so much that he would one day prevail upon the “Father of Rock n’ Roll” to perform “Good Golly, Miss Molly at a party celebrating his 1993 presidential inauguration while he, the new American President, accompanied “LR” on the sax. (This act would have been big at Jimmy Menutis back in the day.)

(9) Johnny B. Goode (1957). “Go, Johnny, Go!”  The hard-driving lyrics of this classic rock ‘n roll number by Chuck Berry still pound the message of the genre out there at a rate faster than the culture of that time could absorb it. It was about freedom of artistic expression on a level that went way beyond the in-bred marriage of the majority white culture to the values of prudence and control of the arts, two qualities that eventually go beyond directing energy and start choking creativity.

“Long live rock ‘n roll! Deliver us from the days of old” – Chuck Berry.

"Thank you! - Thank you very much!"

(10) “Hound Dog” (1957). By this time in 1957, you could have picked a number of other Elvis Presley hits for this lace in the Top Ten List. I chose “Hound Dog” because I think it represents something of a final victory point in the culture war for rock ‘n roll’s right to survive. as an everyday part of our main culture life. Back in 1954-55, the airways were battling to play rock ‘n roll live over the air on pretty much of a case-by-case basis. Artists like Little Sylvia Vander pool were being banned for “suggestive” lyrics. Sylvia took the ban for a little song called “Fine Love,” in which she sang about “fine love…fine kisses…right here.”

The lyrics to “Hound DOg” were fairly innocuous, but they were being sung by Elvis Presley, and it was now 1957, and rock ‘n roll was here to stay.

Places like the Jimmy Menutis club in Houston helped seal the deal on “R&R” becoming a permanent part of our everyday American lives. Thank you, Jimmy!

Long live rock ‘n roll! And long live Jimmy Menutis and his contributions to American music history!

Also, please comment below. We’d love to hear your own top ten lists too.

More Sandlot Summer Memories

August 16, 2010

Sooner or later, my mind always returns to the sandlot in Pecan Park, the one we called Eagle Field, the one that is today celebrated at the East End Houston corner where Japonica and Myrtle streets “Y” together as “Japonica Park.”. The site was dedicated as a small city park in 1942, even though it only takes up the space that developers could have used to squeeze in four to six more little box houses like the ones we all lived in. They just didn’t, thank God, they just didn’t.

Joy in the moment never got any better than it once did in that time and space around the year 1950. I was 12 years old and playing at the apex of my sandlot glory that summer, as were several of my Pecan Park Eagle buddies. We simply had no way of knowing, as kids in a relatively trouble-free world, that this moment, for many of us, was as good as it would ever get for the every summer day availability of joy.

Hit and run. Catch and throw. Laugh and shout. Sweat and slide. Bare feet and callouses. Tee shirts and no shirts. Cornflower blue skies and billowing cotton candy white clouds. Skinned up knees and strawberry rump stains. All these and more were both the actions and the theater of our life upon the sandlot. But all were part of our daily deal with what we knew as life back in the day.

The older I get, and the longer I consider the question, “what makes life good or bad,” the more I come to appreciate that it all seems to turn on whether or not we once had a period of joy in our childhood or not – and here’s where life can seem to deal a very unfair hand to some people.

A small decanter of magic dirt from the 1950 home plate area of Eagle Field, collected in May 2010.

In working with people over the years, I met a lot of folks who seemed to know little more than abuse or neglect as kids. They had no golden sandlot memories. Only emotional pain and deprivation of love and protection filled their childhoods. These folks have a hard time seeing life’s normal adult setbacks as anything more than more of the same pain that’s always been there. They can’t buy into “it’ll get better” because it never was good. First base on the road to hope for these people is finding some time of joy in the past, even if it were simply a solitary thing or a single day.

New joy feeds best on the memory of a previous experience. Failing that, new joy feeds on the hunger for it. It’s where we live in the moment at peace, or in full body and soul engagement, with life.

Some of us were lucky enough to have grown up with two loving parents. Others of us were even luckier to have also grown up also with the love and joy that flowed from sandlot baseball as it was widely played through the early 1950s.

The sandlot soul never dies.

A Letter to Jimmie Menutis

August 15, 2010

This morning brought a pleasant surprise. It was an overnight e-mail letter to the readers of the Pecan Park Eagle from the one and only Jimmy Menutis. It’s already posted where Jimmy left it as a two-part comment on the PPE article headlined as “Jimmy Menutis: Houston Heart of Rock ‘n Roll,” but I wanted to repeat his two messages here to make sure that no one misses them:

(1) From Jimmie Menutis to Pecan Park Eagle Readers, 08/15/10, 5:06 AM ~

I am very happy to see all the reply and fond memory. I too have great memory of all my friends and customers. Guess what…..my wife of 50 years and I still dance the whip.
We are living in new orleans, also have a condo in the metropolis o w.gray in Houston. We have a business in Lafayette, la and spend time there.

We are considering having a reunion In new Orleans with one of the name artist if you wish to be invited send your name and address by mail to

Jimmie menutis
110 Travis street
Lafayette, la. 70503

Circulate this message to others you know would want to attend.

Regards
Jimmie

(2) From Jimmie Menutis to Pecan Park Eagle Readers, 08/15/10, 5:09 AM ~

Love to hear from all my friends.

Jimmie Menutis
110 Travis St.
Lafayette, La. 70503

Email
Rmenutis@brandedworksinc.com

Response Letter to Jimmie Menutis from Bill McCurdy, The Pecan Park Eagle ~

Dear Jimmie,

It is both an honor and a joy to hear from you. Although you have never met most or all of us who have written our happy recollections here lately of your once-great club on Telephone Road, we hope you will easily see from what has been written how big you still are in our hearts and memories of that wonderful period in our earlier lives.

I am also posting your contact information a second time here so that our readers will be able to contact you directly about their availability for a reunion party in New Orleans, Lafayette, or Houston somewhere down the line. My guess is that a Houston party might require the rental of a pretty large hall, sort of a “Jimmy Menutis II” site, if you please.

My wife and I would love to join you and Mrs. Menutis for such a party, if you decide to have one, and I also invite you to use this site to get out information to your many fans, as well, about a party, about the music of those good old days, or anything else you may be up to in these new good old days that you care to share with the general public. All you have to do is post it here as a comment following this article – or else, drop me an e-mail if it’s a whole new subject.

Thanks again for writing, Jimmie. And long live rock ‘n roll and the Menutis legacy.

Regards,

Bill McCurdy, Editor, The Pecan Park Eagle

Who’s On First, Astros-Style

August 1, 2010

Abbott: "Who's on first." Costello: "Berkman." Abbott: "Not anymore, he's not."

The classic Bud Abbott and Lou Costello “Who’s on First?” routine lays the groundwork for our look at all the changes in the lineup of the 2010 Houston Astros on this first day of August. As best we can tell from the settling of all the trade dust that got kicked up these past 72 hours, here are the names of the current nine starters for the Astros as we head into the homestretch of this going-nowhere-for-now-but-tooling-up-fast-for-the-future season:

Pitcher: J.A. Happ (Too bad a certain Astros draft choice at catcher from recent years had to get get sick and fade as a prospect. We could have been getting ready to put a battery of Happ & Sapp on the field once every four days.)

Catcher: C. Astro

First Base: Who Dat Nguyen

Second Base: Dam F. Eyeno

Third Base: Oma Godd

Shortstop: L.O. Loudd

Left Field: Careless Lee

Center Field: Michael Bourn

Right Field: Hunter Pence

And in honor the wonderful routine perfected by Abbott and Costello, here’s a verbatim on the “Who’s On First?” routine that plays continuously during all the open visiting hours of the Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown, New York. Enjoy and have a great Sunday, away from the triple digit heat that is predicted for Houston this afternoon:

Who’s On First? By Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

Abbott: Well Costello, I’m going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee’s manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you’re on the team.

Costello: Look Abbott, if you’re the coach, you must know all the players.

Abbott: I certainly do.

Costello: Well you know I’ve never met the guys. So you’ll have to tell me their names, and then I’ll know who’s playing on the team.

Abbott: Oh, I’ll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.

Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names…like Dizzy Dean

Costello: His brother Daffy.

Abbott: Daffy Dean

Costello: And their French cousin.

Abbott: French?

Costello: Goofè.

Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let’s see, we have on the bags, Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third…

Costello: That’s what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know’s on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You gonna be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don’t know the fellows’ names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who’s on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow’s name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy playing…

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: I’m asking YOU who’s on first.

Abbott: That’s the man’s name.

Costello: That’s who’s name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: That’s who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who’s playing first?

Abbott: That’s right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets…

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: Who gets the money…

Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Whose wife?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What’s wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign…

Abbott: That’s how he signs it.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.

Abbott: No. What is on second base.

Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.

Abbott: Who’s on first.

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well, don’t change the players around.

Costello: I’m not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I’m only asking you, who’s the guy on first base?

Abbott: That’s right.

Costello: Ok.

Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What’s the guy’s name on first base?

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.

Abbott: Who’s on first.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott: He’s on third, we’re not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who’s playing first.

Costello: What’s on first?

Abbott: What’s on second.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott: He’s on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don’t go off it.

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who’s playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Costello: You don’t want who on second?

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder’s name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I’d ask you.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I’d tell ya.

Costello: Then tell me who’s playing left field.

Abbott: Who’s playing first.

Costello: I’m not… stay out of the infield! I want to know what’s the guy’s name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.

Abbott: Who’s on first!

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder’s name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because!

Abbott: Oh, he’s centerfield.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher’s name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don’t want to tell me today?

Abbott: I’m telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow!

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who’s pitching?

Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.

Costello: I’ll break your arm, you say who’s on first! I want to know what’s the pitcher’s name?

Abbott: What’s on second.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher’s name?

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today, and tomorrow’s pitching.

Abbott: Now you’ve got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I’m a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow’s pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I’m gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right.

Costello: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That’s all you have to do.

Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.

Abbott: Yes!

Costello: Now who’s got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody’s gotta get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.

Abbott: No you don’t, you throw the ball to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That’s different.

Costello: That’s what I said.

Abbott: You’re not saying it…

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: That’s what I said!

Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don’t know! He’s on third and I don’t give a darn!

Abbott: What?

Costello: I said I don’t give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that’s our shortstop.

Sounds About Right

July 26, 2010

Leo Gorcey: Master of the Malaprop

If you’re old enough to remember The Bowery Boys movies from the 1940s, you’ve grown up with the misstated expression of speech as a fact of life. Sarah Palin would have felt right at home working the TV news with Leo Gorcey, who, as the chief Bowery Boy, was also the master of the malaprop when it comes to everyday efforts in communication.

I got to thinking (and that’s always dangerous): I wonder what Leo and Sarah would be like if they could team up as the early morning news team covering contemporary events in Houston for one of our local TV stations? For purpose of this brief exercise, I’ll assign Leo and Sarah to Channel 11 – since they always seem to be the station that needs the most help.

At least her words are original!

Here’s a parody clip from their Monday, July 26, 2010 broadcast:

Leo: “Good Morning, Houston! I hate to be protruding into your beauty rest too hard, but it’s Monday morning and all of youse guys and goils need to rise and shine and get ready for work. Me and Sarah here are going to try our best to bring you abreast of things going on around the Bayou City, but we want you to know too that we are working a little short-handed these days due to certain constipations in the budget here at Channel 11. Sarah, do you want to help fill the folks in on what that means?”

Sarah: “I’ll be happy to give it a go, Leo. You betcha, I will. –  Friends and fellow Houstonians, what Leo is trying to say is that we’re going to have to get by with less staff here at Channel 11 until we take in a little more advertising money.- That means, for now, but we’re hoping we can bring them back as soon as we can afford it, there will be no more Dr. Gene Norman doing the weather at night or David Paul or Mario Gomez doing weather during the early morning or midday shows. Also, don’t look for Matt Musil or Butch Alsandor doing the sports anytime soon either. Sad to say, Butch, Matt, and the rest of the crew will be hanging out at the unemployment office until we can talk you folks into giving us the support we need to re-hire them all here at Channel 11.

Leo: “Thank you, Sarah. That was a most dispicaable expectoration of the situation here at Channel 11. Or, as old Doc Norman might say, “The Norman Number for Monday, July 26, 2010 is a big fat 0!”

Sarah: “So, what that means, folks, is that Leo and I are going to take care of everything between the two of us: news, sports, weather, and traffic – Leo and I will have it all covered. And we are willing to do it with no held back preservations over the fact we aren’t getting paid extra-duty-dough for our efforts because that’s “the Spirit of Alaska.” Excuse me, I mean that’s “The Spirit of Texas!”

Leo: “Allow me to prevaricate what Sarah just said. We’re doing this for the people of Houston, people. It ain’t about the money, but it is about the great chasm of sentimentality that we hold out to all of you!”

Sarah: “Leo’s right, fellow citizens! All we care about is that we have one of those rare promiscuous opportunities for misinforming the public about subjugations we normally know nothing about.”

Leo: “Let’s turn to sports, Sarah, and the question that all Houstonians have about Oswalt the Baseball. Rabbit. – I guess that’s what he is; I don’t normally follow baseball, so I’m having to fill in the blanks of my usually corpulent brain. – I’ll just ask, as it says and seems to imply here in the script: Has Oswalt been baited, trapped, or traded since he got swept away by, it says here ‘the red plague’ on Saturday?”

Sarah: “Well, Leo, I checked with Astros General Manager Ed Wade about Roy Oswalt only last night, but Wade would not refudiate the rumor that a trade is already in the works with either the Yankees or the Phillies.

Leo: “Anything going on with the economy, Sarah?”

Sarah: “Leo, the economy is something I know something about. I learned a lot about money from my almost full term as Governor of Alaska.”

Leo: “Well, what did you learn?”

Sarah: “I learned that, for me, at least, there was more money to be made in writing a book and accepting a check for personal appearances than there was in reigning as a public official. In fact, if I hadn’t quit my goober-notorious job (I loved the free peanuts that came with it as a perk from Jimmy Carter. That’s why I called it my goober-notorious job), I would not be able to afford to work here ar Channel 11 today.”

Leo: “Do you think you could teach me the ropes on going that route myself, Sarah? I think I got at least one book and about a hundred speeches in me right now! And I sure as heck can’t afford to keep working at Channel 11 forever!”

Sarah: “I know I can help you as, indeed, I can help all my fellow Americans, Leo! All you need is the redundancy to deal with all the attempts at “change” that are going on out there on the political scene today.”

Leo: “Bring it on, Babe. I’m ready for the condensation.”

The 1949 Baseball Season: King James Version

July 9, 2010
Back in the spring of 1949, in a parallel universe to our own. free agency in baseball had been a reality since the end of World War II in 1945, which fortunately concluded in that similar world as it did in our ours. The Allies whipped the Axis forces and restored a form of freedom to many parts of the governing world. In the process, the spirit of the war also liberated professional baseball players from the tyranny of the reserved clause.

Time: 1949; Place: A Parallel Universe; Event: Ted Williams & Stan Musial discuss their plans for playing together as teammates with a few other new faces on the roster of the 1949 St. Louis Cardinals.

“If baseball players can go overseas and fight for their country in wartime,” pinko-socialist pundit and labor advocate Henry Wallace shouted to Congress, “the least we can do in Congress is to revoke the reserve clause and give them all the right to choose where they will work as ball players in peacetime!”

And so it was written. In that parallel version of our God-Blessed America, on Flag Day, June 14, 1945, President Harry S. Truman signed into law a bill from Congress that killed the reserve clause and gave unrestricted free agency to professional baseball players.

Not much happened among the old school ball players until March 2,1949, when the Boston Red Sox met the St. Louis Cardinals in an early spring training game played at this universe’s base for the Cardinals in St. Petersburg, Florida. Everything changed that day.

Unsigned by the Red Sox, but working out with the club on his own nickel, pending contract resolution with Boston, slugger Ted Williams and Cardinal great Stan Musial suddenly announced that the man some called “The Thumper” would stage a thirty minute radio show over station KMOX is St. Louis from the Cardinal clubhouse after the game.

The purpose of the broadcast, according to a spokesman for Ted Williams, would be to announce his decision about his plans for the 1949 season. Had Williams worked things out with the Red Sox? Or would he be making plans to play elsewhere, …. as in, perhaps, …. St. Louis, maybe?

The press and all the world was told that they would have to wait for the “decision broadcast” over KMOX that was being beamed to a national audience.

The decision came forth about twenty minutes deep into the radio broadcast. It came on the heels of a seemingly endless stream of “Holy Cow” possibilities expressed over the air by the show’s host and sole monologist, Harry Caray. Listeners were ready for anything, but more Harry opinions.

With a smiling Stan Musial sitting quietly to his left, Ted Williams moved dead-panned closer to the mike that had been shoved in his general direction by Caray. The following is a verbatim account of  what happened next:

Harry Caray: “Well. Ted, America’s been holding its collective breath out there. Can you tell us what this business is all about? More exactly, can you tell us what this decision is all about that made it so important that you had to use up my post-game after show time just to do it?”

Ted Williams: “Sorry. Harry, but sometimes things happen in baseball that are even more important that anything you have to say. I’ll make it brief since our time is short. – After much thought, I have decided not to return to the Boston Red Sox for an eighth season. Instead, I will be taking my talents to Missouri to play for the St. Louis Cardinals, along with my friend Stan Musial here, plus George Kell of the Tigers and Warren Spahn of the Braves, who have both also chosen to sign with the Cardinals for the 1949 season. – All three of us new Cards want a World Series ring – and we think we may be able to make a difference here by joining hands with Stan and a bunch of guys that already know how to win the big one.

Harry Caray: “Holy Cow! That’s wonderful, Ted! Are you worried at all about how badly the fans back in Boston may react now, especially in light of the fact that they’ve already lost Spahnie to us from their National League club! Holy Cow!”

Ted Williams: “Spit on ’em, Harry! I gave those GD Boston fans all I had for seven seasons! They ought to be grateful I stayed as long as I did. I also gave my all to the war effort. Now it’s time to think about me and I want a GD World Series ring. I don’t give a flying-flip where I win it – just as long as I win it in my playing lifetime.”

Harry Caray: “Do you think you owe the fans anything, Ted, even an apology for leaving Boston?”

Ted Williams: “I don’t owe the fans a damn thing, Harry! I gave ’em my best – and half the time, they didn’t even appreciate that! Fans don’t get it. We ballplayers play to win for ourselves. We don’t play to win for them – or out of some loyalty to the community. – Hell, if this were about loyalty, I’d still be out there in the PCL playing for my hometown San Diego Padres!”

Harry Caray: “If it’s not about loyalty, Teddy, how do you explain the guy sitting next to you? Around here, the love and loyalty that exists between Stan Musial and the city and fans of St. Louis is a two-way, can’t-pry-it-apart street in every direction! Explain that phenomenon for me, Ted.

Ted Williams: “I won’t even try, trickster, except to say that any guy born in a place named Donut-Hole, PA is capable of doing just about anything. St. Louis is damn lucky to have him – just as they will be doubly lucky to have the both of us and Kell in the same everyday lineup and Spahnie pitching every fourth day. – Now, if you don’t mind, I need to break this off and go grab some shut-eye. I’ve got a big fishing trip planned for tomorrow!”

Harry Caray: “But, Ted, I only want to ….”

Ted Williams: “PATOOEY!!!!” (Ted Williams spits on the floor as he off-handedly shakes Musial’s hand and rises to abruptly take leave of the clubhouse broadcast setting.)

Of course, these events did not unfold in our universe, but they might have had an interesting impact upon the 1949 pennant races and World Series outcomes, had they unfolded. In our reality, the 1949 St. Louis Cardinals finished second to the Brooklyn Dodgers in the National with a 96-58 record. They were only one game back of Brooklyn, who went on from there to lose a seven-game World Series to the New York Yankees in the first year of new Yankee manager Casey Stengel. – Stan Musial hit .338 with 36 homers and a league-leading hit total of 207 for the ’49 Cards.

In our 1949 reality universe, Ted Williams of the Red Sox batted .343 with 43 homers and AL leading totals of 150 runs scored and 159 runs batted in. – Third baseman George Kell of the Tigers led the AL in batting with an average of .343. – Pitcher Warren Spahn of the Braves led the NL with 21 wins and 151 strikeouts.

Hmmm! Do you think, maybe, the 1949 St. Louis Cardinals might have had a chance at the World Series crown had the King James version of the universe unfolded as described in this little fantasy piece? And if they had won it all, would victory have tasted as sweet to the Cardinal fans as any of their previous dramatic victories to this 1949 point in history?

To me, the saddest part of the Lebron James decision was the fact that he never even came close to thanking the fans of Cleveland for their support of him. He talked profusely about how much he gave to Cleveland, but none at all about what Cleveland had given to him.

James was all “me, me, me” and “I gotta do this for me. – I gotta win a championship somewhere!” in his “decision telecast.”  He also stated that he didn’t think fans understood how important winning it all was to players.

Maybe not, King James, but maybe the fans of Cleveland really do understand more about loyalty than you do. It’s far deeper than a word you may have tattooed to your chest. It’s a personal decision to care about some goal or commitment to others, or  cause,  that is much greater in value and far beyond the culmination of your personal satisfactions or desires to be recognized as an NBA champion.

Once upon a time, baseball players like Stan Musial and Jackie Robinson understood what I’m writing here to the “nth” degree. You just happened to be a man of this generation – a player who doesn’t get it and never will.

Believe me or not, LeBron James, if you had decided to stay with Cleveland and then never ever won an NBA ring during your career, your legacy would have been greater than it could ever be now. It doesn’t matter if you win rings at Miami, and then at Chicago, and then at New York, and then in LA.

The question, “Who did you win them for” has already been answered. You won them for yourself; you sure didn’t win them for the fans. The fans didn’t even deserve a word of thanks when you packed your bags and took your “loyalty-tattoed” chest off to South Beach. Are the fans of Miami really supposed to buy into the bull that you are really playing for them? Or are they just supposed to put out the ticket and souvenir money, shut up, and simply be adoringly grateful that you brought your wondrous talents to South Florida?

Good Luck, King James!

The All Star Game: The Hype is in the Name itself

July 5, 2010

Guess who hit the first home run in All Star Game history back in 1933? Hint: He had a reputation for the compulsive pursuit of food, drink, women, and some of the mightiest home runs ever swatted by an unofficial sultan of same.

When Chicago Tribune sports editor Arch Ward came up with the idea for an annual All Star Game to be played between the very best players of the American and National Leagues, it’s doubtful he foresaw the mutations that would change the game from one that players and fans in 1933 really cared about to the watered down event it has become today in 2010.

America changed. So did baseball. Television and population increase were at the heart of it all, but, of course, things never are quite that simple. The spread and growth of new people with new interests over the years has allowed baseball to move teams, expand the number of major league franchises, and to pitch its game to the public far  differently – but this market momentum has all taken place in the middle of a much greater and far more diversified competition from other sports and other new leisure-time attractions.

Net effect? With almost twice the number of clubs that existed in 1933 (30 now to 16 then), the Baseball All Star Game has become less of a “best players in baseball” contest and more of a “most popular players from each team” competition.

As an Astros fan, I’m happy that our great defensive center fielder, Michael Bourn, got selected as our team representative, but that fact doesn’t cause me to vacate the belief that there are a number of other guys from other clubs out there who are far more deserving this year than our .260-hitting Astros guy. As good as he is, I don’t even think that Michael Bourn is actually better than pitcher Roy Oswalt at this point in his MLB career. I just think that Oswalt’s poor W-L record from poor hitting support has made him a less popular choice than Bourn, plus the NL does have some good pitchers out there with records that make them more deserving, but I think you get my point, anyway.

The All Star Game is what it is. It’s a break in the pennant race and a chance for fans to watch an exhibition game between some of the best and just about all of the most popular players from each of thirty major league teams. Plus, the home run hitting contest conducted the night prior to the game is still fun to watch as a friendly father-son/daughter playground activity.

It’s just too bad that the outcome of this meaningless recess from the school of pennant race reality has to determine something as important as home team advantage in the World Series!

Commissioner Bud Selig says he made the change in the interest of helping the players and fans care more about the outcome of the All Star Game.

Oh really, Mr. Selig? Is that what you were thinking?

If so, well then – how about making the runner-up in the home run hitting contest seal the deal by kissing the posterior of the winner at home plate during the trophy presentation? An incentive to win built on that level might even get Mark McGwire to come out of retirement to take on all those sluggers from that House of Representatives steroid investigation committee in a special home run hitting contest between him and them only!

And the McGwire-Effect would really make about as much sense as the All Star Game winner does as the determining factor on home field advantage in the World Series.

The Freedom Coin of the USA

July 4, 2010

Happy Fourth of July, Everyone!

This year, my thoughts turn to a subject that I’ve used for years in my work with adolescents – and that’s what I like to call “The Freedom Coin.” It’s a very simple idea, but it was at the heart of our Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights just as much as it is the big lesson about “growing up.” It’s so important, in fact, that we may as well put it as it is: No one grows up until they are prepared to accept responsibility for the consequences of their own freely chosen actions or inactions.

And there it is in one gulp – a living definition of The Freedom Coin:

“Freedom” is simply one face of an inseparably two-sided coin. The other side also has a name – and that name is “Responsibility.”

In life, both as individuals and as a nation, we get as much freedom as we are willing to take responsibility for using.

When we fail to grasp this simple, but not-always-easy-or-convenient-to-live-by concept of The Freedom Coin, we are like the teenager who wants to use the car, but who also wants mom or dad to pay for any tickets or jail bonds that may result from a night on the town.

“I demand my rights!” It’s a statement in our beautiful USA that we hear often these days. In fact, we even hear it from people who are here in this country illegally – and we hear it because it’s always true. All of us – every living human being on this good earth – has a right to decent treatment from others as a fellow human being. It’s just that the cry for rights simply begs off the question that is always raised by The Freedom Coin: Are you willing to take responsibility for your own behavior in regard to this right you seek? Or do you simply want the keys to the car while someone else pays for the gas?

It’s too bad the Founding Fathers did not also write a corresponding Bill of Responsibilities to go with their fine effort on the Bill of Rights. It would’ve been tougher, but definitely possible. Otherwise, the Bill of Rights would not have been important as a statement of basic freedoms that we value in America. As freedoms, each statement in the Bill of Rights, even if their costs are totally unstated or merely implied,  also carries with it certain inseparable responsibilities as the other sides of each rights coin on the list.

Imagine our USA as a nation where all the adults lived by a full grasp of The Freedom Coin. It will never happen, except in a perfect world, because the real world is totally over-run with greedy folks, rampant sociopathy, and others who are simply dedicated to remaining emotional children for the rest of their lives. It’s still fun to play with the idea of a nation where our leaders, at least, grasped and lived by a working model  of the inseparable relationship between freedom and responsibility in their personal actions.

Imagine a nation where …

… politicians placed the good of the people ahead of personal gain;

… captains of industry pursued healthy profits, but drew the line on decisions that put corporate gain ahead of the welfare of their employees and the communities they purportedly served;

… moral leaders possessed an ability to say “no” sometimes to the temptation of using certain human misery causes as simply their stepping-stone paths to personal attention and power on the national level;

… children were always more than another redundant  bi-product of sexual promiscuity;

… moms and dads really tried to work out their issues rather than divorcing each other  and going off  to repeat similarly unworkable hellhole fates with “new” partners; and, finally,

… baseball hired a commissioner who finally said: “From now on to the crack of doom, there will be no designated hitters; and all future World Series games will be played in the daytime so the kids can watch them too.”

Ah, yes! – The good old Freedom Coin! It never goes away, whether we pick it up or not. I’d like to pick up The Coin, on the content level, anyway, by adding it to a new supercharged and enhanced version of the Pledge of Allegiance. The new Pledge would read like the following as my way of wishing all of you a Most Happy and Safe Fourth of July Celebration 2010:

I pledge Allegiance to the Flag,

Of the United States of America,

And to the Republic,

For which it Stands,

One Nation,

Under God,

Indivisible,

With Liberty and Justice,

Freedom and Responsibility,

For All.

Monte Irvin’s #20: In Case You Haven’t Heard…

June 29, 2010

Photo by Tony Avelar: Associated Press

In case you haven’t heard, Houston resident and Larry Dierker SABR Chapter member Monte Irvin picked up a nice little honor last weekend on the west coast. The also Baseball Hall of Fame inductee from 1973 had another much deserved honor come his way on Saturday, June 26, 2010 at AT&T Park in San Francisco when the home town Giants retired his number 20 from the days Irvin used it during the franchise’s long tenure at the Polo Grounds in New York. Monte Irvin never played for the Giants in San Francisco, In fact, he retired as a player after the 1956 season – and that ws a full two years before the Giants played their first game in San Francisco.

The Giants’ list of retired numbers includes a classy ad tasteful blend of players from both their terms in New York and San Francisco. The addition of Monte Irvin in 2010 just made it even classier, but he’s in fine company among the other New York men: pitcher Christy Mathewson and manager John McGraw are both there from the pre-numbered jersey era as Giants of greatest honor. They are accompanied in that special company of former New York Giants by first baseman Bill Terry (#3), outfielder Mel Ott (#4), and pitcher Carl Hubbell (#11). Monte Irvin (#20) now takes his rightful place among the former New Yorkers. Willie Mays (#24 – Did I really need to tell you that one?) is the only honored former Giant who played with the club in both New York and San Francisco, but great play on the bay would produce other from 1958 forward in San Francisco. The SF members include pitcher Juan Marichal (#27), first baseman Orlando Cepeda (#30), pitcher Gaylord Perry (#36), and first baseman Willie McCovey (#44). Jackie Robinson (#42), of course, is there as the universally retired number by all major league teams.

The Giants group of honored former players all share this fact in common: They are each, one and all together, inducted members of the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. The cream doesn’t rise any higher in this bottle. Cooperstown is the jar of baseball greatness – or should be. And Monte Irvin most certainly is. Great then. Great now. Great forever.

Our Houston SABR chapter has been twice privileged to host Monte Irvin for Minute Maid Park board room meetings and wonderful lectures and discussions of Monte Irvin’s life and times in baseball. At age 91, Monte talks freely, informatively, and often humorously about the old days of Negro League baseball, about how he might have become the man to have broken the color line, and about the time that a young Fidel Castro tried out as a pitcher to play for his Cuban winter league club.

“Castro didn’t make it. He was too wild and we had to let him go,” Irvin told us at his last Houston SABR appearance. “”Of course, then he (Castro) went off to the mountains from there and became a dictator. … If we had only known that he wanted to be a dictator, we could have kept him with us and made him into an umpire.”

At his number retirement ceremony in San Francisco, Monte expressed his appreciation in the strongest terms of gratitude. ” Now I feel my life in baseball is complete,” Irvin told the sellout crowd prior to the Giants game against the visiting Boston Red Sox.

At 91, Monte Irvin is alert and upbeat about baseball and life in general. As an optimist of the first order, Monte showed his metal to the nth degree when we tried to throw a SABR birthday party for him on his natal day last February 25th. “Let’s do it next year,” Monte pled. “I just want to take it easy this time around.”

God Bless you, Monte Irvin. And thank you for being an important member of our Houston baseball community.

LA UNFITNESS

June 19, 2010

ONCE UPON A TME, THE CITIZENS OF LA GATHERED TOGETHER ON THE STREETS LATE AT NIGHT TO SHOW HOW HAPPY THEY WERE THAT THEIR NBA LAKERS CLUB HAD JUST WON ITS 16TH WORLD BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP.

SOME OF THE CELEBRATING LAKER FANS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO START THE PARTY BY SETTING A BOSTON CELTICS JERSEY ON FIRE.

OTHER LAKER FANS THOUGHT THAT TURNING CARS OVER IN THE STREET WAS AN EVEN MORE FUN IDEA.

OTHER LAKER FANS DECIDED TO MAKE IT A LAID-BACK "CASUAL DRESS" NIGHT FOR CRUISING THE STREETS AND SHOWING OFF THEIR TEAM GEAR. NOT ALL OF THE FANS WHO CHOSE THIS ROUTE OF CELEBRATION WERE SHOT - AT LEAST, NOT SHOT DEAD.

OF COURSE, MANY COULD NOT RESIST SETTING UP THE "HUMAN PNATA" GAME IN THE STREETS - IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT IT WAS NOT A SATURDAY AND THAT MOST PARTICIPANTS, INCLUDING THE PINATA, HAD TO GO TO WORK THE NEXT DAY.

PEOPLE ATTEMPTING TO DRIVE THROUGH THE DOWNTOWN PARTY AREA QUICKLY LEARNED THAT A NEW POLICY HAD BEEN PUT IN PLACE BY THE LOCALS: NO CAR WAS ALLOWED TO PASS UNTIL THEY HAD ACCEPTED THE INSTALLATION OF A "HOOD ON THE HOOD" OF THEIR VEHICLE.

THE PENALTY FOR DRIVERS WHO REFUSED THE "HOOD ON THE HOOD" IDEA WAS STRAIGHTFORWARD AND SIMPLE. THEY GOT THEIR CARS ROLLED OVER AND SET ON FIRE WHILE THEY WERE STILL BEHIND THE WHEEL.

LA FANS WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN THAT AN LA COP FINALLY SHOWED UP TO LOOK INTO THE ROOT CAUSES OF ALL THIS EXUBERANT DISPLAY OF GOOD-FUN MERRIMENT.

THE LA COPS FOUND THAT ALL THE CARS IN ONE BLOCK NEAR THE STAPLES CENTER, WHERE THE GAMES HAD BEEN PLAYED, HAD ALL BEEN FESTIVELY DECORATED THE SAME WAY. - THEY EACH HAD ALL THEIR WINDOWS BROKEN OUT BY THE CLEAR-VISION-FANATICAL LA FANS AND OTHER ASSORTED AND MORE BLEARY-EYED PARTYGOERS.

BEFORE THE LAKER FAN PARTY ENDED, A LOT MORE LA FOLKS GOT TO MEET A LOT MORE LA COPS. - I HATE TO SOUND SNOBBISH HERE, FRIENDS, BUT IF THIS IS THE BEST THOSE WEST COAST FOLKS CAN DO, I'D RATHER LIVE IN HOUSTON WITHOUT A CHAMPIONSHIP THAN LIVE IN LA WITH ONE. - HAVE A NICE WEEKEND, FELLOW HOUSTONIANS AND TRY TO REMEMBER: . IF THE ASTROS DO HAPPEN TO DEFEAT THE TEXAS RANGERS AT LEAST ONCE DURING THE CURRENT WEEKEND SERIES, TRY NOT TO BURN AND ROLL YOUR NEIGHBOR'S CAR AFTER THE GAME. OK?