In A Galaxy Not Too Faraway

"Astrodome Automatons, Our brains all work just fine! We're made right here in the Mother Ship, World Wonders No. 9!"

“Astrodome Automatons,
Our brains all work just fine!
We’re made right here in the Mother Ship,
World Wonders – No. 9!”

 

While having breakfast this morning to the television news from yesterday, I heard something I missed in last night’s news reports of the 30-0 drubbing the Houston Texans took from the Kansas City Chiefs in the Saturday NFL wild card first round of the playoffs. Responding to an obvious question, Texans Head Coach Bill O’Brien said that it never occurred to him to lift the incredibly failing quarterback Brian Hoyer in favor of his replacement, Brandon Weeden.

How so? In talking “Brian Hoyer”, we’re not talking Tom Brady, Johnny Unitas, Roger Staubach, Bart Starr, or Joe Willie Namath. – We’re talking about the same guy O’Brien yanked early in his first faltering moment against KC in the season opener. The Texans didn’t win that one either, so why would “thinking about it” by half time yesterday have been such a crime of allegiance by the coach? After all, Hoyer had turned over the ball four times in the first half on three interceptions and a fumble, and the Texans were still in this game of much greater consequence than the season opener, down by only 13-0, with still a chance to win behind a QB with some usable ability. What could have been the big harm of checking to see if Weeden had even a little more lightning left in the bottle he brought to last week’s game?

We do get your earlier point, Coach, that Weeden had little knowledge of the full Texans playbook, but, look – as we tried to express in our consolation column yesterday – at least, the newcomer Weeden had demonstrated in victory last week that he knew how to execute the plays he had learned. – Isn’t there a chance Weeden might have been a better choice than Hoyer, a guy who was well on his way by halftime to showing the world that he may have known all the plays in the Texans playbook, but that he could not seem to make any of them work as planned? When a guy’s only chance of seeing his passes caught is when they are picked off by members of the other team, it doesn’t exactly inspire team confidence or get the home crowd into the game – expect to boo their own QB.

And you are telling us all of this happened yesterday – and it never occurred to you to take Hoyer  out and put Weeden in?

C’mon, man!

If all you need to do is put lineups on the field and never change them, even if the plan isn’t working, the Texans may as well hire everyday “bozos” like yours truly and give us a crack at working for the Houston sports team owner who likes to hire, but hates to fire people until they have demonstrated their ineptness for about a decade on the payroll. As for actually doing your job as it needs to be done, it wouldn’t take me long to show that my coach hiring was a big-time mistake. Besides, our everyday “bozo” higher up employment opportunities, sadly, would be sorely limited by the fact that your current and former people in charge already have used up the best two reasons for people getting fired in other NFL cities on a much more frequent basis:

Excuses That Save Jobs with the Texans

(1) With coaches, always apologize for losses as the result of your bad coaching and promise to do better next time, whether you actually do anything or not that results in more victories on any sustainable basis; and,

(2) With general managers, never make drafting or acquiring a superior quarterback your major organizational priority. Simply draft the later round QB prospects and sign the QB free agents whom you think will fit into the offense that your current head coach, whomever that may be, is trying to install.

Maybe the NFL Really Is Rocket Science

If the NFL really is “rocket science,” the Texans are better off by geographical proximity than any other club in the league. After a 20-30 mile drive down I-45 South from 610 South, the club could get with NASA and either hire their new leadership from the Johnson Space Center staff – or, better yet, from the innovative side of things, get NASA to build them a staff of robotic automatons to run things in the front office and on the field.

Re-Purposing the Astrodome Too

Maybe the Super Bowl success of the first BB8 model coach to lead the Houston Texans to a Super Bowl victory could result in the Astrodome being re-purposed into a plant for building successful robotic leadership at all levels of human endeavor. Constructed without the flaw of human ego, these ingenuous robotic leaders would never use “it never occurred to me” as an explanation for inaction on one of their choices in a particular executive decision-making instance. Possessing the capacity for layered digital analysis of their percentage probabilities for goal accomplishment and risk in every possible option, success would become the norm – and failure would be dealt with as program flaw to be corrected.

Unfortunately, it’s too late in the day to have a couple of these BB8 political models ready for the Democratic and Republican parties as their candidates in the November 2016 presidential election. – And, please believe me,  I express that regret with all sincerity!

Have a great week, even if is flawed by our own egos and inabilities to see or act upon all of our best decision-making options.

____________________

"Make Your Mark, Before It's Too Late, You'll Make Better Choices, With Your Own BB8!"

“Make Your Mark,
Before It’s Too Late,
You’ll Make Better Choices,
With Your Own BB8!”

 

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