Larry Miggins’ Surprise 90th Birthday Guest


Some pictures do speak a thousand words, even though writer Roger Kahn once argued against the over-use of pictures at Time, Inc. by arguing that the well selected single word “is worth a thousand pictures.”

Today, of course, we know that digital photograph alteration programs, notably PhotoShop, have quickly taught us in the early 21st century that photos can lie – and that seeing is not always believing.

The featured photo here arrived tonight without logical explanation, so we may need to wait for either Larry or Kathleen to either validate  our guesses or set the record straight as to what was really going on here.

Here’s what we think from the reflective inner sanctum chambers of The Pecan Park Eagle:

(1) It is possible, but not probable that the picture was photo shopped. Neither Larry nor Kathleen know anything about digital photo fixing and we also rather doubt that the third figure does. Unless his papal powers of “infallibility” covers computer technology, we do not think that The Pope photo shopped this picture either. As for it being the work of others in the family, our readers need to bear in mind that this is the Miggins family. All are Irish Catholic. And all are as honest as the long Irish summer day is misty lighted long. There is simply no real way for me to believe that any of the Miggins clan could ever have stooped to the level of dishonesty that is required of those who photo shop.

(2) Here’s what happened. I think word got back to The Pope that one of the world’s most honest and devout Catholics was about to turn 90 years old on August 20, 2015 – and that family and friends were planning a special previous weekend celebration party for him on October 15th in Houston. I think The Pope heard the stories of Larry’s loyalty and devotion to honesty in all things. Meaning, especially, he had to have heard the story of the time in 1950 that Larry was playing left field for the Columbus Redbirds and a batter for the visiting team in a crucial game hit one out that bounced back on the field from something it struck on the other side of the fence.

The umpire couldn’t see what happened. He didn’t know how to rule. He had not seen the ball’s carom. Was it a home run? Was it a double?

Honest Larry’s reputation preceded him even then The umpire asked Larry to tell him what had happened.

Larry told him the truth, It was a home run for the enemy batter. The admission hurt Larry’s own club, but that could not change the simple fact. – Larry’s admission was the truth.

“It was an easy call for me,” Larry often says, even now. “I know that if I had hit one that far, I would’ve wanted to get full credit for a home run too.”

I can just see The Pope hearing that Columbus story being told to him by some well-meaning family member or friend at The Vatican in early August. I can see The Pope smiling as he leans forward and braces the palms of his hands on both arms of his big papal reception room chair, preparing to rise to his feet. But before he does, The Pope first raises his right index finger gently to the sky and declares to his personal secretary: “Google Expedia for me, Enrique, and make arrangements! I must fly to Houston and play a surprise visit to Mr. Larry Miggins on the occasion of his 90th birthday party. If we only had more people like Larry and Kathleen Miggins in this world, I wouldn’t have to pray so hard for peace on earth.”

That’s it, Larry. Admit it. That’s how the picture came to be.

Now if I am right, Larry and Kathleen, and I know that I am this time, you need not respond with a single word of protestation or disclaimer at the site of this column. After all, you need to have a little respect for me and my intentions here too. You Migginses are not the only Irishmen in this world who are as honest as the day is long.

Erin go Bragh!




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