An Act of Contraction

“Bless me, Father, for I have slimmed!”
~ Homer Simpson Look-a-Like

An Act of Contraction

 

By Bill McCurdy (2015)

 

Bless me, Father – for I have slimmed.

I’ve lost ten pounds – and one of my chins.

 

It’s been ten days – since my last “Mac and Cheese”,

But you know me so well – always anxious to please.

 

I really miss pizza – chicken dumplings and such,

Apple pie lives on too – as a memory crunch.

 

But I firmly resolve – with the help of pure grapes,

To change those sin foods – to the diet of apes.

 

And just eat the green stuff – no sugar – no salt,

And lock all the fun stuff – in my memory vault.

 

For these big amends – to my many food sins,

I pray that this penance – finds its sweet starchy end.

 

But – one day in Heaven – when the cows find God’s Gate,

I still pray they end up – on everyone’s plate.

 

Amen.

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3 Responses to “An Act of Contraction”

  1. Michael McCroskey Says:

    Bill,
    Is this article a part of your mental preparation for the looming left field dinner buffet at our SABR gathering next Monday at the Skeeters’ game?
    Mike.

  2. Mike McCroskey Says:

    Guilty as charged, my friend!

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