The Pecan Park Eagle

“Bless me, Father, for I have slimmed!”
~ Homer Simpson Look-a-Like

An Act of Contraction

By Bill McCurdy (2015)

Bless me, Father – for I have slimmed.

I’ve lost ten pounds – and one of my chins.

It’s been ten days – since my last “Mac and Cheese”,

But you know me so well – always anxious to please.

I really miss pizza – chicken dumplings and such,

Apple pie lives on too – as a memory crunch.

But I firmly resolve – with the help of pure grapes,

To change those sin foods – to the diet of apes.

And just eat the green stuff – no sugar – no salt,

And lock all the fun stuff – in my memory vault.

For these big amends – to my many food sins,

I pray that this penance – finds its sweet starchy end.

But – one day in Heaven – when the cows find God’s Gate,

I still pray they end up – on everyone’s plate.

Amen.

Tags: an act of contrition parody

This entry was posted on May 14, 2015 at 1:34 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.