The Eight-Legged Pitcher of Old Sportsman’s Park
By
Bill McCurdy
~ in grateful appreciation for the creative proximity of the letters “E and “R’ on the standard typing keyboard.
The eight-legged pitcher of old Sportsman’s Park,
He never showed up ’til the evening grew dark,
But once he crawled over – that creaky old roof,
He stood all alone – as massive lone proof,
That he was the guy – who wouldn’t back down,
From Babe Ruth – or Gehrig – as the Biggest Bad Brown,
He’d make ’em sweat lemons – with just a mean frown!
And send them all home – every one – a sad clown.
He never got married – but he did have a wife,
Whose hairy coarse legs – were the joy of his life,
They never drew close – far away, she did stay,
“I can’t stand his rubbing! – It’s all the wrong way!”
But still they had children – only one, one fine day,
But he looked more human – than arachnid – they say.
With eight spidery legs – and eight human hands,
The Browns saw their chances – at filling the stands.
And so they all taught him – to throw the old ball,
With eight pitch command – and eight gears recall,
On each thunderous pitch – rabbit, snail – to the wall,
All the batters got pinned there – by the eight handed pitcher,
Who mowed ’em all down, righty, lefty, or switcher.
With eight golden gloves – in as many years pitching,
There wasn’t no need – for sad groaning and bitching.
But when the Browns left – in the spring of 5-4,
Old Spider just lost it – for pitching no more,
“I’m a St. Louis guy! – Go to hell, Baltimore”
So, Spider retired – to the County, some say,
But don’t be surprised – if he comes back again,
When the last Brownie standing – lifts his last toast of gin,
And he sees his last sunset – and prepares to turn in,
Look for Spider to show up – as the truest last Brown,
And try to find some way to turn things around.
Epilogue ~
Go, Browns! Never give up!
If it takes an eight-handed pitcher leading us to the truth,
So be it. We gotta have heart.
Miles and miles and miles of heart.
True yesterday. True today. True tomorrow.
The Pecan Park Eagle 
January 20, 2015 at 10:11 pm |
Did he ever win the Cy Young Award like Bob Welch?
January 21, 2015 at 7:11 am |
I saw my first major league baseball game at Sportsman’s Park, in 1960. Stan Musial singled or doubled. Wish I could remember the opponent. But I think the game was in June – late June, or early July. I still have a pennant I bought at that game – a New York Yankees pennant!