Sandy Hook: “Born on Earth to Bloom in Heaven”
Yesterday’s horror came with all the shocks of the now long list of previous violent attacks upon the innocent in America by mentally disturbed gunmen, but with two powerful statistical and demographic differences. “Sandy Hook” claimed over twice the lives of the infamous “Columbine” – and 20 of these now dead souls were simply little children – babies in life – and now no more or less than babies in death, to be mourned forever by their shocked and grieving parents – but probably soon enough forgotten by the rest of us, as our turbulent world moves on to the next media blanket coverage of our building path of self-inflicted disaster.
Is that just how it’s going to be from here on out? Are we going to simply keep on playing dodgeball with the issues that stand in the way of, hopefully, but not warrantably, making things better for everyday life in America?
The social problem behind incidents like “Sandy Hook” is extremely complicated and polarizing around a number of issues we normally either avoid or butt heads upon, and there’s no wizard alive who can speak to the certainty of how much each major factor contributes to these sporadic outbursts of violence. As one who has spent most of his life as a mental health professional, working with some people who fit the psychological profile of most mass killers, I’m going to make a humble attempt here to outline what’s involved in causing the increase in this violence. All these factors share this much in common: They are all issues that we have failed to resolve, anyway:
(1) Breakdown of the Traditional Nuclear Family. Thank God, I’ve never worked with an adolescent or young man who acted out as the perpetrator in Sandy Hook did yesterday, but each of those I saw who were on shaky ground were either products of a divorced marriage, a home in which there never was a father, or they were kids who suffered from serious abuse or neglect. These circumstances often produced kids who grew up as loners, sometimes surviving quietly on the sidelines of everything, while building up enormous blame for peers, parents, authority, God, and the world in general. – And here’s the kicker. – Sometimes these kids grew up with this outlook, even when all the externals of their lives (Mom, Dad, etc.) were apparently in place and in working order.
(2) The Evaporation of a Guiding God Concept in Childhood. Most of us older Americans grew up with a working concept of God that came to us everyday, and more often on Sundays, of who God Is – and what our spiritual purpose is as the Children of God on earth. Today, the word “God” is hardly even spoken aloud in many homes, except as the third initial in a texted expression of “OMG.”
(3) The Decline and Failure of Mental Health Services in the 21st Century. Effective individual and family counseling and therapy was more broadly available forty years ago than it is today. Today these services are often defeated by insurance companies and health care plans that limit both the services and the providers that one may choose to engage for help. In the meanwhile, social/mental health problems have expanded far beyond the intelligence of those elite psychiatrists who design and try to periodically update the industry’s standard diagnostic manual. I can almost guarantee you that the diagnosis we finally get for the “Sandy Hook” killer will seem to fit, but still fall far short of telling us who the young man really was. – He will be the kind of guy who should have been on medication, but wasn’t. – A lot of good that does those dead children now. We need better mental health services, including better research into the biochemical factors that may sometimes be the major contributing factors in this kind of anti-social behavior.
(4) Guns. Guns are the stickiest wicket in the pack and we all know it. What do we do now? Isn’t it possible for us to keep our single-shot defense and hunting weapons, while getting rid of automatic and semi-automatic weapons of war, and making private ownership of a gun tougher than ever? Is that too hard to do? Aren’t the 100,000 Americans who take a bullet annually worth the effort? I have no illusions that we will ever be able to totally eliminate the illegal black market for all kinds of weapons, but can’t we do a better job of making that harder to do – and harder upon the people caught selling, possessing, or using an illegal gun?
(5) Technology. Today it is possible to gain instant attention from the whole world for almost anything. Just click on to Facebook, Twitter, or You Tube sometime to see how popular electronic attention-getting has become. – That’s right. – Mass killers crave attention too – and in a most perverse way. – And they know they are going to get it for their sick actions in today’s “wired world.”
Summary: Enough is enough. We need to do something that will outlive the immediate emotional bruising of “Sandy Hook” and survive as a step in the right corrective direction. Based upon all the factors listed above, and the possible factor that I too could be wrong, here is my brief anticipatory finding we shall get about the “Sandy Hook” killer:
This younger of two brothers probably grew up as a loner. He likely never felt close to his father, but he was most probably controlled and protected by a mother that other people seemed to really like. He took his parents’ divorce hard, but buried the rage he felt over the loss of his dad. He possibly blamed his mom for the loss of his dad – and maybe he even blamed the kids she gave herself to as a teacher’s aide years earlier at the Sandy Hook School for “stealing” the of love and attention he craved.
When he reached the point of giving up as a young man, he planned to take out his mom and then go to Sandy Hook to pay them back for getting the love that he felt belonged to him. He also acted out upon strangers (that may not have been so innocent in his sick view of things) to assure that he would not be forgotten by the world he was leaving. Killing Mom alone would not have caused the networks to rearrange their Friday schedules as this act would do, even bringing the President of the United States near tears in televised commentary upon the vile act.
Footnote: When God evaporates, we have to function as God – and when we do – things can go terribly awry.
I’m hoping and praying we do something this time. It’s only going to get worse, if we can’t find a way to start a walk down the path of recovery and remedy.
The Pecan Park Eagle 
December 15, 2012 at 3:49 pm |
This should be published in every newspaper in America. Bill, please send this to the Chronicle or let me. I was thinking many of the same things but lacked your eloquence. We waltz around issues because we fear being called racists, hypocrites, zealots or the label of the week. The decay of this country effects all us and it is time to confront the sources.
December 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm |
Dear Zita, My columns already go to a few people associated with other areas of the Chronicle. You have my permission to do what you are already free to do and send it to whomever you please. The time is past due that we seek common sense and a working road to reason for answers to this horrendous issue.
December 15, 2012 at 4:41 pm |
Evil is evil and I’m not sure that studying it will ever eliminate it short of turning America into a police state.
It is easy to blame today’s culture and society but we can also go back to Charles Whitman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Whitman
and the Bath School Disaster
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_School_disaster
to show that such horrific acts of evil can take place in 1966 or 1927 when our society was more religious and more like communities.
Interesting, too, that this school had just beefed up their security yet let this man walk through the security screen unimpeded.
My prayers for the children and their families.
December 15, 2012 at 4:56 pm |
Bob, Yes, evil is evil. We don’t need further studies to know that much, or to get lost in comparative USA culture studies on the differences between 1966 and 2012. I was a law student at UT shortly before Charles Whitman made his name famous from The Tower that also sad August day in 1966. A couple of my friends had to run for cover that day while others fell around them. – What we need now is a plan for engaging the security issue that doesn’t stop short at a little politically correct window-dressing. – We will either work to make things better – or else – resign ourselves to living life – with our children – as a nation of sitting ducks.
December 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm |
It’s not guns that kill prople. People kill people. If you take law abiding people’s rights away to own guns its still not going to fix the problem of murderers or crazies in this world. How many times do you have to be told that? They will just kill you with home made bombs and hand grenades and illegal GUNS or whatever. Moreover, if we are denied guns, then what self defense do we have? It’s true what you say about this Godless world and divorce and fatherless children but gun control won’t change that. Look what happens to law abiding people in other countries that have no gun rights!! The bad guys still have them and the good guy’s don’t. Also, our Founding Fathers DID TOO mean that individual citizens have the right to bear arms for protection. They meant even against the government if necessary. I see our “government” taking our freedom away from us everyday. A little here a little there. Wake up America!! NO GUN CONTROL. People knew about that weird guy that killed those precious children way before he did it. Yes, he didn’t get the right mental health care. SO FIX THAT!!! DON’T TAKE MY FREEDOM AWAY INSTEAD. Maybe everybody should wear a weapon so if some nut starts shooting you can kill the idiot.
December 15, 2012 at 7:49 pm |
Ria, – If you had read my words you would have understood that I wasn’t advocating the loss of single-round weapons by law-abiding citizens for self-defense and hunting. That being said, I think we need to look for better ways of keeping rapid fire assault weapons out of the hands of psychotics and other seriously ill malcontents. – I’d like to tell you that psychiatry and psychology will soon come up with effective ways of predicting this kind of violent behavior in certain individuals, but don’t hold your breath. It’s not likely to happen in our lifetime, if at all. – If we can just move the chains from “easy as pie” to “harder to do” on the acquisition of all weapons, but especially on the easy acquirement of rapid-fires, I would consider that progress on the security phase of this whole issue. Thanks, anyway, for your input.
December 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm |
I believe that in addition to this killer being sick in the head that society as a whole is ill. Every action we perform and every little THING we pay for in this world is a vote for what we stand for.
Movies and video games have more sex and violence because we support that financially; we cast our vote for Hollywood and video game companies to keep putting out such material. If we take a stand and choose NOT to support such things, and they know they won’t make money off of violent movies and video games, they’ll just follow the trend onto the next big thing. It’s all business for them.
Parents need to take more control over what they allow their kids to expose themselves to. Parents of today aren’t being parents; they just stick their kids in front of the TV and let the media raise them. I think parents of today give their kids whatever they want because they know that their kids’ friends’ parents give them whatever they want and are afraid their kids will hate them. Tough! These are YOUR kids; take a stand and say enough is enough and don’t worry about how other people are raising their kids wrong.
Everyone is too busy for everyone else and are scrambling to get things done in insane amounts of time, and I believe that it is because of this that common courtesy for others has been thrown out the window. No one says hi to strangers in passing anymore in this “get out of my way” society; everyone is an obstacle to everyone.
Our society today as a whole is more sarcastic and lethargic than ever before. If someone sees someone else doing something that’s out of the norm, they ridicule them to make themselves feel more secure when deep down inside, they’re the ones that are insecure, selfish, and have no regard for others.
We can ALL take a stand against our ill society by fixing what is broken, but it starts with the individual. Vote by acting upon what is the right thing to do. Reach out to those whom you don’t know very well instead of gossiping about them. Let someone in your lane if they put on a turn signal EVERY TIME, and make it a habit. Don’t leave your trash for others to pick up. Be accepting of others no matter their race, creed, or orientation. Make time for dinner with the family and turn off that cellphone. But most importantly, we need to start CARING again; we need to WAKE UP, turn off our TV sets, computers, cell phones, and start caring about the world crumbling around us.
December 15, 2012 at 9:33 pm |
I would like to hear from the Dr. that diagnosed him Autistic. Sometimes people are misdiagnosed. Sometimes people have no conscience and therefore are Psychopaths. Anybody that could plan and carry out such a horrific deed is more than Autistic. Sounds like an Anti-Social, thinking only about himself selfish angry person. A Psychopath. However, I’m not a Psychiatrist.
December 15, 2012 at 6:48 pm |
One more thing. The same government that wants to take your freedom away to own guns is mostly to blame for the rampant violence in the first place. You ask how? By siding with Atheists and people that don’t want God in our schools or anywhere. Put God back in our society and then you’ll have the remedy. At least a 99% improvement.
December 17, 2012 at 4:10 am |
Bill, Your thoughts certainly make sense to me——–if only it could be an easy thing to be accomplished! Maybe, just maybe, things will be put “in motion” to do something to try to prevent anymore incidents such as this!!!!! Such sadness—innocent little children—–they couldn’t even comprehend what was happening to them. Prayers and Blessings for all.
Shirley V.
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December 17, 2012 at 2:21 pm |
When are people that scream “don’t take away my freedom” going to realize that they may have to give up a little of it for the betterment of society. They can live without owning an assault rifle.
December 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm |
First assault rifles then all guns. However, the nuts will have them.