Hell’s Big Game

Hellzapoppin Park, The Netherwprld. (Actually photographed in Colt Stadium, Houston Texas, on just about any Saturday afternoon in June 1962.

Hell’s Big Game


Once upon a red-sky time – in a ballpark down below,

All hell was burnin’ brimstone – as was the usual show.

They had a game a churnin’ – as they played into the last,

The Devils 3 – The Demons 3 – the 9th came hard and fast.


The game had much a ridin’ – as the Demons came to bat,

The Devils aimed to goose ‘em – and then to drown the cat,

By bringin’ Dolphie Hitler in – to panzerize the Demons,

Lucifer hoped to kill the need – for extra inning schemins’.


Old Dolphie was a cranker arm – goose-steppin’ every pitch,

But when he let each damn ball fly – many slipped a hitch,

And sailin’ wide and wild, they flew – and landed in the ditch,

And Dolphie walked four Demons – before he killed the glitch.


And headed for the bottom – of Lucifer’s last hope,

The Demons led the Devils – by a 4-3 Hitler mope,

Twas time for Satan’s big sticks – to show up with the soap,

And wash away disaster; – they simply had to cope.


But Saddam went down swinging – and Osama pulled up lame,

And Qaddafi bit the bullet – the lodged one in his brain,

And the Demons took the Devils – moved up to higher ground,

To the Underworld Series – off they go, …


Are the Unholy Ghosts around?

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5 Responses to “Hell’s Big Game”

  1. bbprof Says:

    A very clever adaptation of baseball doggerel with apologies to Ernest Thayer I hope. Your team lacked the required number of Democratic politicians who probably could have blown the Demons away with their bloviated wind and illegal tactics. BB

  2. Bob Hulsey Says:

    So there’s an Islamic team (no doubt with the 9-11 hijackers included) versus a Nazi team. I presume there is a Soviet team and a Khmer Rouge team, a Roman Empire team and perhaps one made up of other free agent bad guys. I can only hope Bud Selig will be their commissioner soon.

  3. bbprof Says:


    Your piece was so interesting that it inspired me to write my own in The Gospel Truth/Borst on A Hell of an Idea. I hope you and your readers will check it out when I publish it on Thursday of next week.
    Its tentative title is A Hell of an Idea anb I did give you proper credit, plus a linkage to this article. Bb

    • Bill McCurdy Says:

      Thanks for the kudos and credit, William. I shall look forward to next Thursday and whatever reflections on hell that my modest work may have inspired you to birth. Take care. And say hello to everyone in St. Louis for me.

  4. A Hell of an Idea « The Gospel Truth Says:

    […] You can check it out @: http://bill37mccurdy.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/hells-big-game/ […]

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