Back From The Land of the Living Dead

ODDS & CROOKED NUMBER ITEMS …

 AHOY FROM DEVIL’S ISLAND. After a two-day shipwreck with food poisoning from Sunday afternoon that finally dumped me on the shore of Tuesday morning, still alive, and grateful to be. I’m just glad to be breathing and only suffering from an all-over body soreness from all the convulsing. I am glad to be back in the game, even if I have to claw my way back to a state of moderate coherence on any local or baseball subject that really matters. I haven’t been this sore since my deservedly brief neighborhood boxing career of a thousand childhood adventure years ago. Now I know that a determined germinal infection hits the body with all the power of an everlasting hard landing glove. I could also take a hit much better at 14 than I can at 74. – All I can add to that is – stay away from doggie bag restaurant foods that don’t get refrigerated quickly after you leave the place and go home. The heat stirs up the bacteria faster than we realize. My nemesis this time ( and it almost sickens me to write the words) was red beans & rice with pork sausage. I’m betting it was the “with” part of that combo that got me.

 PARODY ODE TO THE PATIENCE OF ASTROS FANS IN THEIR WAIT FOR A WORLD SERIES TITLE. “No one to walk with, all by ourself; no one to talk with, but we’re happy on the shelf. – Ain’t misbehavin! – Savin’ our love – for you – FOR YOU – for you – FOR YOU! – We don’t stay out late. – No place to go. – We’re home about eight. – Got Raymond on the radio – Ain’t misbehavin! – Just waitin’ out our time for you – World Series Babe! 

“Like Jack Horner – on the corner – don’t go nowhere – what do we care? Victory’s kisses are – worth waiting for – believe us. We’re through with flirtin’ – close calls don’t count! Those times we fell short – don’t matter no great amount. – Our title’s comin’ – just keep us off the Cubbie clock. – A win will get our dreams out of hock – for all time – And leave us with a year that’s sublime. – Oh yeah!”

THE 2012 FACT & FICTION STANDINGS FOR THE HOUSTON ASTROS THROUGH ALL GAMES OF MAY 16, 2012

The following standings depict the actual National League Central standings of the Houston Astros – and also how they would be doing in the American League West with the same records and this were already 2013.

2012 NL Central (Fact) W L PCT GB
St. Louis Cardinals 21 15 .583
Cincinnati Reds 18 17 .514 2.5
Pittsburgh Pirates 17 19 .472 4.0
Milwaukee Brewers 16 20 .444 5.0
Chicago Cubs 15 21 .417 6.0
Houston Astros 15 21 .417 6.0

 

2012 AL West (Fiction) W L PCT GB
Texas Rangers 23 14 .622
Oakland Athletics 18 17 .514 4.0
Los Angeles Angels 16 21 .432 7.0
Seattle Mariners 16 22 .421 7.5
Houston Astros 15 21 .417 7.5

 

 

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One Response to “Back From The Land of the Living Dead”

  1. Bob Hulsey's avatar Bob Hulsey Says:

    My stomach has been rumbling too but it was self-inflicted. I’ve been fasting and praying for three days. I have 8-1/2 hours to go. Hope you are feeling better. Stay away from the chili.

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