The Pecan Park Eagle

Some trivia questions have no easy "stumper" answers.

1. Question: When it’s 4th down and an inch to go, late in the game, and the only thing that can stop your team from keeping the winning drive alive deep in their opponent’s territory is a fumbled snap from center on the QB Sneak that everybody knows is coming – WHY IS IT that then, right then, that the QB fumble of the snap behind the line is exactly what happens next? Ball goes over to the other team on downs. Drive and game over.

Answer: Don’t ask me. I’m a UH alumnus. The Cougars did it again yesterday against Rice when UH freshman QB David Piland and his center bungled the 4th down snap with an inch to go when UH was driving deep in Rice territory with only about two minutes to go. Rice took over and rode out the clock for a 34-31 win over UH. – I’ll spare you what I had to say to the television version of young Piland when that little “whoops” error happened. I’m supposed to be more understanding and balanced in these matters at my age. After all, it’s important to keep winning and losing in perspective with all the issues that are really of importance in life, even when the @#$#@*% game-losing error happens to your own beloved alma mater.

2. Question: This one is less mysterious and probably has an answer. Years ago, when Major League Baseball retired uniform #42 in honor of Jackie Robinson, they allowed all active players who were then using #42 to continue using it through their retirements. Great Yankees closer Mariano Rivera was one of those players. Now he’s a guy who is almost a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame after he soon retires, but how do the Yankees commemorate his number since he wears #42, the number already assigned to the global memory of jackie Robinson by all of baseball?

Answer: Maybe someone knows the answer here. I don’t, but it seems they have only two real choices in Rivera’s case: (1) Simply ignore the number retirement issue; or (2) Seek permission from MLB to make Robinson and Rivera the dual reason the number is retired in Yankee Stadium. The Yankees already have used the dual number commemoration with #8. They retired #8 in honor of both the great catchers who wore it, Bill Dickey and Yogi Berra. What do you think is the best answer in Rivera’s case?

3. Question: Why does football even bother having that two-point rushing or passing option to the one-point kick attempt after a touchdown? Nobody ever uses the 2-point play unless it’s late in the game and they need the two points to either tie a score or put the other club out of field goal reach?

Answer: I don’t think the common little use of the two-point play is what football had in mind when they installed it back in the 1960s. How about taking the option part of the question out of the game and make it a rule that every other PAT try must be a two-point attempt. Maybe we’d have fewer ties and fewer OT games that way.

4. Question: Why is baseball the only major team sport in which the manager/coach dresses out in the uniform of the players?

Answer: The most popular answer is that baseball is the only sport which began with playing managers in the dominant role as team leaders. The great Connie Mack of the Athletics and Brooklyn’s Burt Shotton are the only two men who come to mind that wore “street clothes” in the dugout as managers of major league clubs from the 20th century forward. When you think about it, the idea of Gary Kubiak suiting up for a Texans NFL game in uniform seems almost as silly as the image of little Jeff Van Gundy suited up in droopy shorts to coach the Houston Rockets of a few seasons back.

5. One Final Question: Does advertising on televised sporting events really determine your buying habits?

Answer: If most of you answer it doesn’t and can offer proof of same, you will possess the power to take down a standard of living among professional athletes that grows more ridiculously separate from and above the rest of us by the day. Of course, you would have to argue strong against all the evidence that regular exposure to brand names on television is the single largest retailing factor in the world, even that important to such well known product names as “Coke” and “Bud.” We buy what we know. And we tend to buy what we hear about lately on a redundant basis. – Right, Mattress Mac?

It’s all linked back to one of the most ancient dynamics in retailing psychology, a brain-conditioning process called “subliminal registration.” In subliminal registration, simple ideas like “drink Coke” and “eat pop corn” are implanted into a commercial message and they register in the brain just beneath the level of our conscious attention. Then, when we grow thirsty, we order a Coke; when we get hungry, we buy pop corn – or whatever.

How’s this one for a current example from television advertising: “Buy a new mattress. Your old one is full of dust mites, millions of them!”

Talking advertisers out of continuing to pay big bucks for what they see as a sure-fire investment in future profits will not be easy, if even possible. Oh well, the least we can do is try to stay aware of what the ad men are aiming to do and stay in touch with the fact that, in most cases, we still have the power to not buy at all, if we so choose, and that includes the choice of not being gouged for ticket prices to events that do not really produce all that much happiness in our daily lives.

Have a nice, quiet, simple Sunday, everybody, unless you’re still too young to settle for peace. If you’re not ready for peace, then go stir up a learning experience or two. They’re all out there, just waiting for you, whether you remember the ad men telling you about them or not.