The One-Minute Long Season
“Welcome to Opening Day! … Nice start! … Can’t win ’em all! … There’s a long drive to left field ~ It’s going ~ It’s going ~ It’s GONE! … Ground ball going down shortstop way. ~ Second to First. ~ It’s a double play! ~ And there goes manager Kayser to the mound. ~ That’s going to be all for Ish Kabibble! … Here comes some mean looking dark clouds at us from out of the right field sky! ~ We could be headed for a little trouble here pretty soon! … And batter Dawkins doesn’t like that call at all! ~ And Umpire Justice doesn’t seem to be too happy with Dawkins either! ~ Whatever Dawkins said ~ his articulation just earned him a run he hadn’t planned to take in the 2nd inning! ~ ‘Cause this one is all the way back to the visitor’s clubhouse! ~ That’s the 4th error on Sure-hands Sewell this afternoon. ~ Maybe he’s finally found a way to ditch that nickname they pinned on him for playing 145 rookie games at short last year without committing a single miscue! … Here comes Rick Rudely in from the pen again. ~ The guy either has a rubber arm or a manager with little to no imagination! ~ (Will I get fired for saying that? ~ After all, Rudely does pitch for the other team?) … Uh Oh! … Another coming and going pitch off the bat of Tommy Twister has just taken wings and departed the field in left! ~ This one hit an altitude of 500 feet in about 1.5 seconds and is headed east in the general direction of Beaumont! ~ That was Tommy’s 31st home run of the season! … And Sammy Swerve slides into 3rd base for his 21st steal of the season! … Back from a hamstring injury, home club all star ace Ish Kabibble goes for his 20th win on the last day of the season. ~ If he can get the job done, the home town Houston Buffs will take the regular season top spot and be favored to win the playoffs for the Texas League Championship! … Wish we could’ve told you more, but we only had a minute to get all this stuff you see here written down. ~ Like always, the long season for winners is a beautiful life to lead while it lasts. … Gotta go now, the Last Day of the Season is upon us!”
Good Luck to the Houston Astros today ~ as the club opens the 2019 American League season at Tropicana Field in Florida against the Tampa Bay Rays. If you are an Astro fan, let’s hope too that this first day of the long season is but the first step on our way back to some post-season retribution and a return of the World Series Championship trophy to the Bayou City!
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Bill McCurdy
Principal Writer, Editor, Publisher
The Pecan Park Eagle 
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