The Pecan Park Eagle

Martian star, KLGTZX PQTZ, (Dwayne Johnson) and agent Scott Boras (foreground, left, facing PQTZ) signs with the New York Yankees.

NEW BASEBALL MOVIES

USING OLD MOVIE TITLES

ON EVEN MORE ANCIENT THEMES

~ ONE EXAMPLE TODAY ~

The Thing From Another World: The first Martian player arrives in time to start the 2018 season. Known immediately as “The Universal Babe Ruth”, KLGTZX PQTZ possesses a fastball that travels 120 MPH under Earth’s gravitational conditions, but he also has the ability to hit a baseball on  our planet an average distance of 600 feet. Lefty 6′ 6″ PQTZ has been timed at 1.7 seconds in the run from home to first and he is being touted as the greatest center fielder to ever yet play the game. Oh yeah. The plot line is pretty straightforward. PQTZ signs a multi-year player contract with the New York Yankees through his agent, Scott Boras. In the movie, terms of the deal are presented as too-out-of-this-world ridiculous for further intelligent discussion.

Critic Notes: So much for stories of the “little green men from Mars.” Does baseball really need another story tale about the Yankees putting together another dynastically unbeatable club? We don’t think so either. Nor do we need another two-hour story about a humorless man whose ego alone is even larger than his incredible accomplishments.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson does a really good job of portraying the boarish Martian in this re-use of an ancient movie title. In fact, he may have you wanting to go home after the first five minutes of dialogue.

Don’t go, if you are an Astros fan.

You will want to hang around to see what happens in 2018 – when the Astros again square off against the Martian/Marlin boosted Yankees in next year’s ALCS. We are sworn to secrecy here so we are obliged to hold back further comment.

If you think you know how the movie ends, please go ahead and write your version in the comment section.

In all other ways, as is, the movie goes home with a 1.5 out of 5 stars rating for general viewership worth.

And thanks for indulging us here this morning. We just needed some rest. And writing this piece was more fun than writing nothing. We promise to keep trying to write only material that always contains at least one invitation to thought or smile – and today’s fictional piece was governed by that same writer-hope.

Today’s the year’s last Wednesday. Have a good one.

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Tags: The Thing From Another World

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