Our Breakfast Club All Stars

(or vice versa) The Breakfast Club All Stars

(or vice versa)
The Breakfast Club All Stars


The thought of this possible club occurs to me every time the name “Coco Crisp” either comes to bat – or comes to mind. Late today, we decided to do the scratch research that’s needed to appropriately fill a lineup based upon players with any MLB experience at all.

This one proved tougher than we thought it would be. As a short-time research commitment, we could not find any thirst quenching breakfast drinks rolling around Baseball Almanac. So, we were forced to compromise our principles (first time that’s ever happened) and add Clarence Beers as our special relief pitcher for those who could handle beer with breakfast. There were no “Milks” or “Juices” available to us and we didn’t want to go out of baseball into the felony athlete pools and draft “OJ” under any circumstance. We also passed on the thought of adopting Minute Maid Park as our home field for the sake of passing the orange juice need off to the folks who run that venue. “Beers” was the easy, most fitting way to go. If Beers can’t go, we always probably shift to somebody like “Robby Wine” and shift our spring training base to Paris.

Finding appropriate infielders was tough.

We also found too many good names attached to players who only had short-time pitching experience in “the bigs” so we converted Butters, Hamm, and Tost into position players. Our catcher Maple – and our first baseman Kellogg were the only infielders who actually played the positions they were assigned to fill here on the Breakfast Club All Stars. – We probably missed a few, but we also felt that this exercise already had received all the attention it deserved on the first of these last three nights December 2016.

We did add the prosaic nicknames that each team member bears for the sake of highlighting each of their varied identity contributions to our usually happy camper clubhouse domain.

The Breakfast Club All Stars

  1. Coco “Don’t Let Me Get Soggy”  Crisp, CF
  2. Darryl “Wild as Ever” Strawberry, LF
  3. Wally “Just Standing Here” Post, RF
  4. Bill “The Baron of Battle Creek” Kellogg, 1B
  5. Lou “Cinnamon” Tost, 2B
  6. Pete “Honey Baked” Hamm, 3B
  7. Tom “Good Grip” Butters, SS
  8. Howard “Syrupy” Maple, C
  9. Eddie “The Sizzler” Bacon, P *
  • 10. Clarence “Anybody Thirsty?” Beers, Thirst Relief Pitcher

As per always, y0ur contributions of wit here are like the gentle rains of spring upon the rose beds of our community mind.

Bring it on!



Player Note. As noted earlier, Tom Butters was one of three MLB pitchers we converted by need to position-playing infielders for our club. This featured baseball card was released during the 1962-1965 period that Butters pitched his entire MLB career for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Here he looks like doppelganger twin of actor Anthony Hopkins – almost assuring us with that intense Hopkins stare that he will not mishandle hot grounders at shortstop as his “Tom Butters” name seems to imply.


Adjusted Roster, Based Upon Reader Contributions, Friday, 12/30/2016, 8:15 AM CST

The Adjusted Breakfast Club All Stars

  1. Coco “Don’t Let Me Get Soggy”  Crisp, CF
  2. Darryl “Wild as Ever” Strawberry, LF
  3. Wally “Just Standing Here” Post, RF
  4. Bill “The Baron of Battle Creek” Kellogg, 1B
  5. Ivanon Coffie, 2b – SS (if needed)
  6. Zach “Shredded Wheat Chex” Wheat, 3B – OF (if needed)
  7. Luke “Apple Turnover” Appling, SS
  8. Howard “Syrupy” Maple, C
  9. Bob “Lemonade” Lemon, SP *
  10. Eddie “The Sizzler” Bacon, RP
  11. Lou “Cinnamon” Tost, RP – 2B (if needed)
  12. Tom “Good Grip” Butters, RP – SS (if needed)
  13. Pete “Honey Baked” Hamm, RP – 3B (if needed)
  • 14. Clarence “Anybody Thirsty?” Beers, RP (relief for thirst and rallies)

Thanks to Bill Hickman for Ivanon Coffie. Thanks to Mike McCroskey for Zach Wheat, Luke Appling, and Bob Lemon. And thanks for further liberalization to the acceptable breakfast food names and position assignment standards. It just goes to prove again that ancient adage: If you are free to adjust the rules along the way, you will find that victory is never out of reach. These additions have allowed us to move four pitchers back to primary status, as such; they also made adding a great starting pitcher to the roster; and, it set us up with some hope and anticipation that the Detroit minor league 3rd baseman named Joey Pankake that Mr. McCroskey also discovered will eventually make it to the Tigers roster so that he may also take his place at our special Breakfast Club table.  Thanks, guys, and keep those prospects coming.


 Bill McCurdy

Publisher, Editor, Writer

The Pecan Park Eagle



4 Responses to “Our Breakfast Club All Stars”

  1. Mike McCroskey Says:

    One can always hope the Rangers call up 2011 draftee, Joey Pankake, currently in class A Florida League.

  2. Mike McCroskey Says:

    Correction: actually Joey Pankake is a 3rd baseman in the Detroit organization, having chosen not to sign when first drafted by the Rangers. However, as long as I’m here, let’s add Luke Appling turnover, Zach “shredded” Wheat and Chet and Bob Lemon tarts.

  3. bhick6 Says:

    To give you a valid major league shortstop, Ivanon Coffie played four games at that position for the Orioles.

    Bill Hickman

  4. jd Says:

    And throwing out our ceremonial first pitch- football great Gerald “Waffle” Irons.

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