The Wonderful Who-Dat of Odds
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the powers,
Consulting with the brain;
And my head – I’d be a scratchin’
While my thoughts are – busy hatchin’
I would nevermore complain.
I’d unravel ev’ry riddle
Of “be strong up the middle”
And what there is to gain.
With the thoughts I’ll be thinkin’
I could be the “Baseball Lincoln”
If I only had a brain.
Oh, I, – could tell you why
The wall always finds the floor
Why the talk of losers always is a bore
When playin’ bad’s – the honest core.
I could think of things I’d never thunk before,
And then I’d stop – and think some more.
But I’m just – an empty kettle
Who should be on his mettle
And yet I’m torn apart
Just because – I’m presumin’
I could be a – baseball human
If I only had a heart.
I’d be tender – I’d be gentle
And awful sentimental
Regarding baseball art
I’d be friends – with Edward Barrow
Ev’ry moment he could spare, oh
Just to find my baseball heart.
Picture me – in agony
The umpire blew the call
I could let it go – and never say a thing.
But that would suck – from here to spring.
Gotta tell him – where he blew it
If he pipes up – he can screw it
I will change his middle name.
Have a heart – you sorry bastard
Your eyesight is – clearly plastered
And your game – ain’t got a heart.
Just to register emotion – jealousy – devotion
And really feel the part
I could stay – young and chipper
And I’d lock it – with a zipper
With each game – a drama gripper
Once I find my baseball heart.
With a brain and heart inside me
I would own the nerve to tide me
And I’d live my baseball part.
Like a lion – not a mow-iss
I would dine on steaks – from cow-iss
Metaphoring baseball art.
(and all the fans would then sing….)
Oh – We’re – Off to see the Who-DAT,
The Wonderful Who-Dat of Odds!
If ever a Wizard of Math – There Was
The Who-Dat of Odds is one Because ….
…. Because of the Probable Things He Does
The Who-Dat of Odds – is One – Because ….
Because, Because, Because, Because, BECAUSE ….
Because of the Wonderful Things He Does!
Oh – We’re – Off – to See the Who-Dat
THE WONDERFUL WHO-DAT OF ODDS!
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