Which of These Baseball Items is Most Probable?

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Which of These Baseball Items is Most Probable?

Remember too, we didn’t say “highly probable”. We simply mean – by comparison to the other items on the list – which is “most likely” to happen – even if that likelihood itself is “highly improbable?

And one more thing – no matter how the off-the-wall some of these items are – in accordance with the laws governing physics, chemistry, human intelligence and neurological functioning – they are all possible – no matter how improbable they each may be.

Got it? – Good. – Here we go:

A List of Nine Improbable Events for picking the Most Probable of Them to Occur (Even if it Never Does):

  1. The Commissioner’s Lifetime Ban on Shoeless Joe Jackson from Baseball is Lifted (since he’s already been dead for 64 years, anyway) and he is subsequently inducted into the Hall of Fame.
  2. An unspecified baseball closer wins 20 games in 20 appearances without ever throwing a single pitch to a single batter. In each instance, he enters a home game pitching to the visitors with the score tied in the top of the 9th with a runner on first and two outs. In each instance, he retires the side without ever pitching to the batter by picking the runner off 1st to retire the side. In all 20 instances, his club scores the winning running in the bottom of the 9th, making him the winning pitcher of record in all 20 appearances.
  3. The Chicago Cubs win their first World Series since 1908.
  4. An unspecified batter, used often as a pinch hitter, collects 100 RBI in one season without ever recording a single hit. He reaches base only by walks, errors, HBP touches by the pitcher. and catcher interference calls. He also picks up 48 RBI by sacrifice flies – and he comes to bat with either the bases loaded or a runner on 3rd a total of 76 times. He also garners no hits in all his other non-scoring chances at the plate (shy of the always present HR possibility) – but his .000 season BA is boasted by an OBP of .354.
  5. Pete Rose learns that his lifetime ban from Baseball has been lifted and he is inducted into the Hall of Fame at the next open induction meeting of the Veteran’s Committee.
  6. In the interest of keeping baseball game attendance affordable by the average fan, the Player’s Union Establishes $5 Million Dollars a Year as the reasonable maximum annual salary limit on compensation to any MLB player.
  7. In the interest of keeping baseball game attendance affordable by the average fan, MLB owners agree to standardize the best single game ticket prices at $40.00 each – and $35.00 for each game in a 81-game season ticket package.
  8. In service to preserving interest in baseball over the generations to come, MLB agrees to use most of their largess in  television money for the development of youth baseball programs in every community in the nation.
  9. Baseball decides that gambling is truly the game’s only unforgivable sin (if you downgrade greed, lust, guttony, and larceny down to character trait issues and drinking, mayhem, drugs, addiction, and steroids down to behavioral issues). As a result, the 2017 ballot of potential inductees swells into the hundreds, including Barry Bonds, the actual record-holder for most single season and career home runs.

____________________

eagle-0range
Bill McCurdy

Publisher, Editor, Writer

The Pecan Park Eagle

Houston, Texas

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2 Responses to “Which of These Baseball Items is Most Probable?”

  1. shinerbock80 Says:

    Forget probable, given the nature of humans in baseball, my guess is that only 1, 3 and 5 are even possible.

  2. Rick B. Says:

    Hell will freeze over before 6, 7, and 8 happen. After all, as I’ve heard players in various sports say, they need their $12 million per year becsuse they have families to feed. With the cost of going to an MLB game being what it is now, I have to stay away from the games; otherwise, I’d be unable to feed my own family (except on dollar hot dog night).

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