If Leo Gorcey Wrote for Chronicle Sports

Houston Chronicle June 5, 2016

Houston Chronicle
June 5, 2016


If Leo Gorcey wrote for Houston Chronicle Sports, Joseph Duarte’s lead Sunday article on the Big 12’s (UT’s) avoidance of UH in their second formal way (the first occurred twenty years ago, when the Big 8 expanded to the Big 12) – and how it might have read, had actor Leo Gorcey, as Slip Mahoney of the Bowery Boys, had written the story – is as follows:


By Slip Mahoney, Houston Chronicle Sports

Leo Gorcey aka Slip Mahoney

Leo Gorcey
aka Slip Mahoney

IRVING TX – The scene likely exploded something like this: In meeting rooms at a Key Biscayne, Fla. resort last week, presidents and athletic supporters from a handful of schools kept ears on business revolving the American Athletic Conference and three eyes glued to cellphones (whatever those are) for any mouthful of news regarding Big 12 expression. – What they ran into was Big 12 contraction by inaction. – UT, OU, and the Big 12 Commiserator say they want more data before they give in to the delusion of sharing their now annual $304 million a year per school take from the TV bucks coming in to the ten remaining member schools. – And who can maim them? – If you was UT, especially, would you really want to risk a regurgitation of what happened that time the fair-minded, but sadly now departed Darrell Royal risked welcoming the Cougars to the SWC back in the 1970s? And this time, it could be a double-hater – with UH and BYU coming in as two Mr. Hydes and no Dr. Jekyll! – Losing games and money at the same time ain’t no referential constipation on the throne.

UH and the other Big 12 hopefuls may need to sweeten the soup pot by arousing from the reality that they are not dealing with the Salvation Army or Goodwill when they reproach the Big 2 (Big 12) for a piece of their perspicacious pie. When you hang out with greedy folks, the disease gets to be a little bit pretentiously ubiquitous, protruding its way into the hearts of all who enter that “members only” room and extending also from there to include those who get invited to join the club. (Hey! I got one of those words right, didn’t I? – I think I did.)

Have a nice week, but let’s try to keep our all-the-way-around delusional outlooks in perspicacity.

GO UH! GO UT! GO OU! GO BIG 12! – Let’s battle it out for Number One in College Football in a union of craven amenities! – There is still precocious time for all of us college football fans to put our interspersed neediness on the line together for a holy bombastic sport that simply incarcerates and then incinerates amateurism.


Bill McCurdy

Publisher, Editor, Writer

The Pecan Park Eagle

Houston, Texas




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2 Responses to “If Leo Gorcey Wrote for Chronicle Sports”

  1. Steve Bertone Says:

    Just last week I read that of the top viewed college football games in the Houston TV market, 3 games SEC (my guess 2 of the 3 were Texas A&M), 2 games Big 12 (again my guess one being Texas/OU) and 2 games AAC (my guess both were UH).
    My advise to the big dogs at UH, don’t hold your breath on an invitation from the Big 12. The SEC might be interested in expanding to 16 sometime in the future. The ACC with its failed tv contract might rethink their plans. Can you imagine a football conference stretching from Boston to Miami and west to Houston! For now work on making the AAC the best sixth power conference.

  2. Wayne Roberts Says:

    Not going to happen. There are more UT grads in Houston than UH grads. Same for the Aggies but I won’t speak for them. UH is certainly more deserving now of consideration but I don’t think UT or OU need to play UH to impact recruiting in SE Texas. Longstanding issues related to the Jenkins era and the memory of the bleachers falling down at the old stadium won’t go away until another generation passes. UH was its own worst enemy in the 1970s-1980s. As Darrell told Earl his freshman year after a touchdown not to celebrate and dance around, but to hand the ball quietly to the ref: “Act like you’ve been here before and intend to return many times.” The Art Briles legacy may tarnish UH, too. You don’t get to be that good that quick after being a doormat without doing something crooked. They caught Briles and the clock is ticking on Kansas State.

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