The Night Before New Year’s


Dr. Renu Khator Chancellor/ President The University of Houston "Our UH Lady Chieftain in Red"

Dr. Renu Khator
Chancellor/ President
The University of Houston
“Our UH Lady Chieftain in Red”


by Bill McCurdy © 12/06/2015

A UH COUGAR Parody of
by Clement Clarke Moore

‘Twas the night before New Year’s, in a place for no mouse
Not a Cougar was stirring, not in gritty Coog’s House;
Their helmets were hung by the chimney with care,
In dreams of the big bowl that soon would be there;

The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of peach bowls danced in their heads;
And Khatour, sans her Coog boots, and Tom in his Coog cap,
Had just settled down in their rooms for a nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Tom sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the Zeke Cullen show,
Gave the luster of midday to objects below,
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a red and white sleigh, and eight Cougars in gear,

With a handsome young driver, so lively and quick,
Tom knew in a moment this was no midnight trick.
More rapid than eagles his Cougars they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Farrow! Now, Wilson! Now, Potsma and Webb!
On, Cummings! On Stewart! On, Roberts and Jackson!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the heap!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away deep!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top, the Cougars they flew,
With the sleigh full of wins, Greg Ward driving too!

And then, in a twinkling, twas heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each agile hoof.
As Tom drew in his hand, and was turning around,
Down the Coog chimney, Ward came with a bound.

He was dressed all in red fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of wins, he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an agent, just opening his pack.

His eyes how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as black as youth grows;

The grind of true grit, Ward flashed from his teeth,
As encircling glitter crowned his head like a wreath;
He had a bright face and a six-pack abs body,
That propelled him to quickness like a hot-toddy-goddy!

He was supple and muscled, a fit leader too,
And Tom smiled when he saw him,
A wink of Greg’s eye and a twist of his head,
Reminded dear Tom, he had nothing to dread;

Greg spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

Ward sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.
But Tom heard him exclaim, ere Greg drove out of sight,
“Happy New Year in Georgia, and to all a good night!”




2 Responses to “The Night Before New Year’s”

  1. Bruce Says:

    Bill, would like to get together for lunch sometime. Bruce

    Sent from my iPhone


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