The Sometimes Timeless Wisdom of Will Rogers

We’re back. And the beat goes on for The Pecan Park Eagle.

Today we’re simply going to take a look at the wit and wisdom of the late Will Rogers – and how it might fly apply or misfit in our world today.

"I can say that I never met a feminist I didn't like because I met Kathryn Hepburn back in the early 1930s and she was a real nice lady." ~ Will Rogers (maybe)

“I can say that I never met a feminist I didn’t like because I met Kathryn Hepburn back in the early 1930s and she was a real nice lady.”
~ Will Rogers (maybe)

 

The Sometimes Timeless Wisdom of Will Rogers

1) Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

TPPE Comment: Never crack a private joke in the face of a man who’s chewing tobacco. Nellie Fox of the Houston Astros was an avid tobacco chaw guy, through and beyond his last season as an MLB player and an old school fellow all the way. When he learned of the club’s plan to replace the green-painted dead natural grass in the sun-proofed Astrodome roof with a new non-biodegradable plastic field cover  called  AstroTurf in 1966, Nellie wasn’t joking when he asked, “Where will I spit?” The answer supplied itself. Nellie Fox retired after 1965 and never had to face that question as a player. But odds are high that his answer to that question would have been: He would have spat from wherever he happened to be standing. And it would have been pretty obvious on the field where he most often stood.

 

2) Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

TPPE Comment: The problem with this metaphor always has been the difference in outcomes from the perceived release of an actual frightened cat and the figurative release of secretive information. Let a real cat out of the bag and you are not likely to see that frightened cat again. Let a secret out of the bag and it’s going to bite and scratch several somebodies and – if you are the one who released it – you most probably will be high up on that kind of cat’s hit list.

 

3) There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

TPPE Comment:Oh, Will! Will! Will! – This is 2015! Were you to rise from the dead tomorrow at the same age you were when you and Wiley Post died in that terrible Alaskan plane crash back in 1935, you would certainly have to clean up your act before you fell back into favor, if you ever did, as the iconic American humorists. This is an era in which some topics, unless you’re name in Chris Rock, are totally inappropriate. Your comment regarding women and their unequal capacities for fair and rational debate and disagreement is totally inappropriate for 2015. You could not only get into trouble for saying what you apparently did say long ago about the ineffectiveness of the two theories for arguing with women, you could probably be charged with sexual abuse for even thinking along those lines in the presence of a female mind-reader.

 

4) Never miss a good chance to shut up.

TPPE Comment: We just blew that opportunity when we signed up for an extension of The Pecan Park Eagle on WordPress. 

 

5) Always drink upstream from the herd.

TPPE Comment: Hear that, Astros? That’s Will Rogers talking! – It means stop losing and hold on to first place in the AL West!

 

6) If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

TPPE Comment: You should have been with us in Houston a couple of weeks ago, Will. We could’ve used a lot more deep and wide holes than we had on hand for all the rainwater that invaded many of our homes during the flood because the water had no place else to go..

 

7) The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

TPPE Comment: What money?

 

8) After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

TPPE Comment: It’s on our bucket list, Will!

 

9) Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

TPPE Comment: If rookie shortstop Carlos Correa turns out to be the proof of the Astros’ recent “good judgment” in the 2012 amateur player draft, let’s hope that a lot of that good judgment karma comes from the fact that back in the 1992 amateur player draft, the Astros had a chance to draft shortstop Derek Jeter, but instead used their pick on a third baseman named Phil Nevin.

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One Response to “The Sometimes Timeless Wisdom of Will Rogers”

  1. Bob Hulsey Says:

    In a similar vein from unknown commentator: “They think they can accurately predict climate change 100 years from now when they can’t predict if a woman is going to be happy five minutes from now.”

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