Two Items Too Good To Ignore

Item No. One: Today is the 51st anniversary of Houston Colt. 45 pitcher Ken Johnson’s no-hitter loss to the Cincinnati Reds on April 23, 1964.

Ken Johnson Houston Colt .45s April 23, 1964

Ken Johnson
Houston Colt .45s
April 23, 1964

Check out the great job that Bryan Kerr did on J.R. Gonzales’ Bayou City History blog to commemorate and re-tell the story:

Item No. Two: Marriage and Wives.

Dagwood and Blondie Bumstead

Dagwood and Blondie Bumstead
“…and they lived happily ever after!”

All but two of the items below were submitted by e-mail from the Rev. Father Gerald Beirne of Rhode Island and SABR – and they are intended for men and women with a sense of humor!

Father Beirne didn’t write this material, but he is a truly wonderful man with a strong sense of humor of his own for where there are smiles to encourage and laughs to be fostered in a world starved for comedy.

Loosen up folks. Allow this piece to “make your day”!

Marriage and Wives

(1) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ~ King David

(2) After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. ~ Sasha Guitry

(3)  By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ~ Socrates

(4) Woman inspires us to great things, and then prevents us from achieving them. ~ Anonymous

(5) The great question, which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?” – Alexander Dumas

(6) I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. ~ Sigmund Freud

(7) ‘Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’ ~ Red Skelton

(8) ‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’ ~ Sam Kinison

(9) ‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.’ ~ James Holt McGavra

(10) Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: (a). Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, (b) Whenever you’re right, shut up. ~  Patrick Murray

(11) The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. ~ Ogden Nash

(12) You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. ~ Anonymous

(13) My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. ~ Henny Youngman

(14) A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

(15) A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ ~ Anonymous

(16) Take my wife, please. ~ Henny Youngman

(17) First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’ Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’ ~ Anonymous

(18) Some people enter marriage as though it were a horse costume. Over time, they each learn that it is no great honor to be either end. The “back end” lives with no identity and a stinking view of the “front end” mate. The “front end” lives with a strong desire to travel faster without having to drag the faceless, heavy “back end” along for the ride. ~ The Pecan Park Eagle

Enjoy your Happy Thursday, everybody!


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3 Responses to “Two Items Too Good To Ignore”

  1. Tal Smith Says:

    One minor correction. Deron Johnson was the 1B for Cincinnati. Pete Runnels was playing 1B for the Colt .45s when Ken Johnson fielded Pete Rose’s bunt ant threw wildly to first base.

    • Bill McCurdy Says:

      Thanks, Tal. – We will pass those corrections along to the people at the Bayou City History site who put that piece on Ken Johnson’s famous day together,

  2. Mark W. Says:

    I remember listening to that game on my transistor radio.

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