The Pecan Park Eagle

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”
~ Steven Wright

“I intend to live forever – so far, so good.”
~ Steven Wright

“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
~ Steven Wright

“Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.”
~ Steven Wright

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.”
~ Steven Wright

“You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.”
~ Steven Wright

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
~ Steven Wright

“The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”
~ Steven Wright

“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”
~ Steven Wright

“Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?’
~ Steven Wright