When it came time to organize an all-star team based on players whose last names also expressed or suggested various body parts, guess whose name came first to mind with me? Duh.
Most of you who have been regulars at The Pecan Park Eagle for a while have already figured out by now that I am hooked on “the ridiculous over the sublime” at almost every writing corner. Today’s humble (or meager) offering is no exception. This morning, I’d like to introduce my selections for a “Body of Work” All Star team, a club made up of current or former professional baseball players whose surnames of either literally or suggestive of names that go into various body part. As per usual, because of the large numbers of deluded people who think of themselves as capable of actually performing this task at the professional level, it was easier to find pitchers than it was appropriately named position players. And, a few times, I had to accept different spellings and, once, a “liverpool” word joinder.
Whatever. Here’s the Body of Work All Star Team (Please feel free to add to the lineup and roster by leaving your own contributions in the comment section that follows this comment.):
Bill Hands, Pitcher (MLB, 1965-75)
Rollie Fingers, Pitcher (MLB, HOF, 1968-85)
Bill Hair, Pitcher (Minors, 1941-42, 1946-56)
Kyle Sweat, Pitcher (Minors, 2009)
Tom Lipp, Pitcher (Minors, 1897)
Barry Foote, Catcher (MLB, 1973-82)
Gerald Butt, 1st Base (Minors, 1999-2002)
Daniel Blood, 2nd Base (Minors, 1970-71)
Greg Legg, Shortstop (MLB, 1986-87)
Jim Ray Hart, 3rd Base (MLB, 1963-74)
Jerad Head, Left Field (MLB, 2011)
Marquise Liverpool, Center Field (Minors, 2005-07)
C. Nipple, Right Field (Minors, 1908)
I tried to find a place for Kevin Nails of Grambling State, who was drafted by the Atlanta Braves in the 49th round of the 1992 amateur player draft, but then he apparently disappeared before he ever got to play in a professional baseball game at any level. We are left to presume that what happened to Kevin was the same thing that happens to all “nails,” sooner or later. – He got cut.
On “three” now, who’s the logical choice for everyday beat media coverage of the “Body of Work” team season?
One … Two … Three … Alyson Footer!
The Pecan Park Eagle 
October 26, 2012 at 8:00 pm |
How about major leaguers Johnny Temple, 2nd Base (1952-64); Ricky Bones, Pitcher (1991-2001) (I know, pronounced differently), Dave Brain, 3rd Base (1901 & 1903-08); and minor leaguer Phil Knuckles, Pitcher (1965-71)?
You could take George Bone, Shortstop (1901) instead of Ricky Bones.
October 26, 2012 at 9:12 pm |
Wonderful additions to the team, Bill!
As Dorothy’s Scarecrow friend once said, “If I only had a ‘Brain’!” Davey should’ve hit me in the ‘Temple’ with just a little more thought. Oh well, No ‘Bones’ about it, it’s time for our team to ‘Knuckles’ down and add some depth.
October 27, 2012 at 12:50 am |
You’ve got Blood and Sweat, but no tears. How about minor leaguer Vincent Tearpock, of unknown position: http://www.baseball-reference.com/minors/player.cgi?id=tearpo001vin
October 27, 2012 at 1:00 am |
Cliff – Yes. Bring on Vincent Tearpock. – Blood and Sweat with no Tears is both improbable and unthinkable.
October 27, 2012 at 4:42 pm |
Don’t forget Bartolo Colon, Scott Brow, Harry Cheek, Wesley Cheek Ferrell, Shin-Soo Choo, Clyde Barfoot; and could we include Brandon Backe and Lipman Pike, also known as Lip Pike? Can body part nicknames be included? If so, you can add a “Nails” under the heading of Lenny Dykstra; “Eyechart” via Doug Gwosdz; Andy High was “Knee High” (when he wasn’t “Handy Andy”); Walter “No Neck” Williams (absence of a body part); of course Leo “The Lip”; and if a nickname for a body part also can be used, we have Ernie “Schnozz” Lombardi. Unfortunately, Mark Gland, Jake Eye, Gary Tongue, John Balls, and Frank Brest only played in the minors, but maybe one day Colorado Rockies minor leaguer Ching Lung Lo will make the show. Ho-ho-ho. (For another laugh, insert the word “poop” into the search box at baseball-reference.com.)