The Pecan Park Eagle

This week’s mistrial in the government’s case against Roger Clemens has probably denied Roger the only chance he had to clear his name, if that end, indeed, is even still possible. The mistrial now gives the government a chance to weasel out of the process that no longer earns any capital for elected officials and leaves Roger twisting in the wind of total denial that he ever used steroids. Now the government may decide to drop further prosecution of Clemens and simply leave Roger stuck with all the “mis-information” that now spins around him as a result of Jose Canseco’s steroids book and the charges made against him by former trainer Brian McNamee with the help of some inadvertent corroboration of allegations by former teammate and pal, pitcher Andy Pettitte.

I thought it might be fun today to go through some other things that certain famous people may, or may not, have said about the days of their own lives, with these questions in mind: Were these statements real? Or were they simply more examples of mis-information? In today’s 24/7 seeing eye digital cyclops world, we seem to spend more time on the trivia of personal disgrace than we ever do on real world problem solving. We can’t get anything done without politics, but, because of politics, and the personal needs of government executives and legislators to get reelected, we can’t seem to get anything done.

Have fun. See if you can find a single statement that might be true.

Andy Pettitte

“It’s hard to remember everything that happens when you spend most of your life looking over the top of a glove and under the bill of a baseball cap. I think that was what I was doing that day I went over to Roger’s house and saw him getting that back rub. I just mis-remembered what my squinty eyes were trying to tell me.” – Andy Pettitte may have said it, but maybe he didn’t.

Dr. Sigmund Freud

“I don’t know how I got here. The fellow who writes this column Googled the Internet for a picture of Jim McGreevey, the former gay Governor of New Jersey, and my likeness showed up among all those of Jim. Go figure. – Don’t analyze. Just go figure.” – Dr Sigmund Freud may have, or may not have, said it this way.

Ty Cobb

“I never spiked, nor killed, anybody – on purpose!” Yep! That’s a Ty Cobb maybe quote.

Richard Milhous Nixon

“I am not a crook!” Yep, Richard Nixon said it. No doubt the fact that he said it. The question again is: Did Nixon mis-remember?

Former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford

“When I got to South America, I looked up at those big old mountains and I thought, “Are you sure this place is part of the Appalachian Trail?’ ” – Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, on the Road to Perdition, so to speak. – C’mon! Cut the guy a break. Not everybody knows a lot about geography.

Babe McCurdy

“Relax! I wasn’t going to eat that football! Your eyes were about to misinform you – and that’s the root cause reason why people, and even bulldogs, sometimes later mis-remember things.- Now who are you going to believe – me – or your lying eyes?” – Babe McCurdy

Sammy Sosa

“Baseball – has been very good to me!” – Sammy Sosa said it. Don’t you think?

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer

“As governor, I always enjoyed the part of politics we call ‘pressing the flesh.’ I was just a little picky about the youthfulness and femininity of the flesh that I pressed.”  That’s how I recall former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer explaining his relationship with a certain young female professional, but, of course, I may have mis-remembered what he actually said.

Mark McGwire

“I’m not here to talk about the past.” – Former Baseball Star’ Mark McGwire’s essential testimony to Congress during their first round of hearings on the use of performance enhancing drugs in the big leagues.

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards

“No Sir, not my baby! – No Sir, don’t mean maybe! – No Sir, not my baby now!” – or something like that. – figuratively sung for a lying while by John Edwards, a former Senator and recent presidential candidate from North Carolina. I think his favorite song turned out to be “Reconstructed Memories Are Made of This.”

Roger Clemens

“I do!” said Roger Clemens at his first answer to Congress in the steroids hearings and in response to this question from the committee: “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole turht, and nothing but the truth, so hepl you, God?”

Former NY Congressman Anthony Wiener

“I guess I could go into stand up comedy.”  – former NY Congressman Anthony Wiener needs to remember, not mis-remember, why he’s now out there looking for a new career.

Young Barry Bonds

“Hope I can find a way to put on a little weight and muscle when I get older!” – (Maybe he didn’t say it – but I bet he thought it.) Hang in there, young Barry. You never know what may be coming your way someday.

Babe Ruth

“Sure, Kid, I called my shot in Chicago back in 1932! – I did what no other man could do and that is the reason I now humbly bound to admit as much.” – The Sultan of Swat.

Former President Bill Clinton

“I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky.” – President Bill Clinton. Sometimes mis-remembering hangs from the thin thread of a very technical fact that is still governed more by perception than provable reality.

Yogi Berra

“It ain’t over til it’s over, but those weren’t exactly the actual words that first came out of my mouth. The sportswriters had to kick the idea around for a while until they then got into a catchy phrase that fit into the sports pages.  Do I mis-remember things? – No, I don’t need to. I’ve got the sportswriters to do that job for me.”

Will people keep lying, and stealing, and cheating, and killing, and lusting, and mis-remembering? Of course, As long as we walk around in human flesh and continue to  answer the bell of our base emotional and physical needs, the allures of the world and the seven deadlies will continue to pull some of us over the cliffs of desire and compulsion.

My homily? Learn from your pain. Stay away from whatever pulls you toward the cliff’s edge. And find the spiritual power that will save you from your own self-destruction. That’s as close as I ever come to a sermon. The rest is up our actions – and to the God Power that rules our universe above the soap opera level that always tries to consume us by feeding us to the little gods of personal desire and physical pleasure.

Have a nice weekend, everybody! And stay off the mis-remembering trail.

Tags: mis-remembering

This entry was posted on July 15, 2011 at 3:59 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.