The Pecan Park Eagle

Friday, December 21, 2012:
Life Goes On!

The sun rose this morning.

It’s now 144 minutes past the Mayan-predicted doomsday hour and all of us who are supposed to be here are still alive – walking the gardens, deserts, forests, and plains, sailing the oceans, and waking up again to all the things that will be instantly ours with the help of a numbered plastic card that has our name on it.

The world did not come to an end at 5:11 AM, CST!  So, what now?

Continuing from yesterday’s parade of top ten polls, here’s our list of the …

Top Ten Things To Do Now That We Know That the World Did Not End Today

1) Stay away from pleasures that are either fattening or infectious.

2) Try to avoid hobbies that rapidly buy you a soul train ticket to the land of personal bankruptcy.

3) Do not consume anything that produces grandiosity, dizziness, unconsciousness, extraordinary sounds and images, or an impulsive decision to either suddenly get married or run away to join the circus.

4) Continue to follow your dreams as long as these often vapid aspirations are accomplishable with materials that you already possess in your own garage.

5) Resume the waste of time that comes with texting, Tweeting, and playing the likes of digital Solitaire and Angry Birds, but this time, as grateful appropriate homage to the fact that the world did not suddenly end today, try to avoid doing these things while you are driving a car.

6) Stay away from fiscal cliffs. If you need one in your life, drop out of school or quit your job and leave the rest to your elected officials. They will help you find a fiscal cliff that is easy to reach, hard to understand, and impossible to avoid.

7) Stop looking in the mirror for reasons to justify your unique claim to entitlements that no one else, but people just like you, should have.

8) Ask others to weigh in on the question you were unable to ask at world’s end:  “Has the devil really been a Yankees fan since 1920?”

9) Hug, kiss, and verbally express your love for the people you really care about.

10) Thank God for life and yet another chance to get it right! End the day with this little prayer: “Thank God It’s (just) Friday (and not the end of the world)!”