The Pecan Park Eagle

“Dear Mr. Luhnow ~ By now we fans figure you already know this, but it won’t cost anything to say it anyway to all of you analytic minds. ~ There aren’t any other Marwin Gonzalez types in the box with his name on it. Please, Please, Please, – Keep the one we got!”

One more time ~ and please note, I did not say one more last time ~ here is one powerful Tom Lehrer satire/parody, followed by a far more modest version of our own. ~ Have a nice Sunday, as we roll into Thanksgiving week. ~ and may God Bless us all, whether or not you accept God’s Blessings at all.

The Vatican Rag

By Tom Lehrer

(By Permission from “The God is Love” Essence

that now supports me and with no Malcontent

Blasphemy toward the Church That Raised me.)

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin’ the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who’s got religion’ll
Tell you if your sin’s original.
If it is, try playing it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it’s good to see ya,
Gettin’ ecstatic an’
Sorta dramatic an’
Doin’ the Vatican Rag!

******************************

The Marwin G Rag

By Satirical Circumstance 

First he gets down on his knees,
Does everything he can to please,
Bows his head ~ gets a crick in his neck,
Plus ~ deep respect, deep respect, deep respect!

Do whatever steps you want, Dear Marwin,
Outfield, Infield, Switch Hit the Far One.
All us fans ~ at game or home
Hope that you will never roam,
Doin’ the Marwin G Rag.

Get in line in Jeff’s confessional,
Ask him for the right concessional,
There, the guy who digs analytical,
Surely won’t yield to big stupidical
If he does, try playing it safer,
Pass on the wine ~ show Jeff your waiver,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to RENEGOTIATE!

Stand up from your aching knees,
Then tell Jeff ~ “your time to please”,
Raise your eyes ~ in great respect,
And ~ crick his neck, crick his neck, crick his neck!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome ~ do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it’s good to see ya,
Gettin’ ecstatic an’
Sorta dramatic an’
Doin’ the Marvin G Rag!

We hope you STAY here!

Marwin ~ won’t you please stay ~ HOME?

********************

Bill McCurdy

Principal Writer, Editor, Publisher

The Pecan Park Eagle