The Pecan Park Eagle

Remember, before you hand over either item – you could be shot if you make a mistake: “The paper’s in the pocket of the boot with the buckle – The map’s in the packet in the pocket of the jacket.”

In the 1948 movie, “A Southern Yankee,” the late, but still wonderful sight gag comic Red Skelton played clueless St. Louis bellhop Aubrey Filmore during the Civil War, who only finds life’s spotlight when he accidentally captures hotel guest, Major Jack Drumman, whose special finger ring reveals that he is actually the super secret spy of the Confederacy, “The Grey Spider,” a man whose stealth and intellect has eluded capture by the Union army until this clumsy private moment.

The Union General discovers a map that the Grey Spider was planning to take south that shows all the northern troop units so clearly that it could actually turn the tide for the southern cause.

Because the Grey Ghost confederate uniform fits Aubrey, Union General convinces our unlikely hero to travel back to the south disguised as The Grey Spider. Aubrey (Skelton)  will carry a new false map of Union troops and munition deployments as a strategy to undermine the Rebels through a program of disinformation.  Aubrey would also carry a secret paper message to Union front line battle strategists that explained the new plan and invited them to take advantage of the Confederacy’s new false war front information.

“What have we got to lose?” The Union leaders in St. Louis asked. “Only him,” they answered, in unified voice and glance at 26-yer old Aubrey Filmore, the newly disguised as Grey Spider man.

All said to here was setup for how Aubrey is instructed by the Union General on the importance of not confusing the two documents he carries. “If you accidentally give the Confederates our new strategy paper by mistake,” the general implies, “they will shoot you on the spot.”

“Then how am I supposed to make sure I make no mistakes?” Aubrey’s actual words and body language scream loudly.

As he points to the jacket and right boot that Aubrey is wearing, the General answers: “Easy. Just remember this much and you will be fine:

“The paper’s in the pocket of the boot with the buckle – The map’s in the packet in the pocket of the jacket.”

From there, the same movie that made me smile as a kid, moved south from St. Louis to hilarity in the land of magnolias and mint julep.

“A Southern Yankee” made one of its rare, but regular appearances on Turner Classic Movies near the midnight hour that follows Tuesday evening, but that’s what DVRs are for. – Record them so we can play them when we want. It was more fun for me early this morning, before I dove into a little work on my income tax return. I’ve always preferred to smile before I snarl.

Baseball Needs to Smile and Shine Again.

Have a good evening and a nice Thursday, everybody. I will get back to writing about baseball soon – just as soon as I can find something new to get excited about again. In the meanwhile, I will keep an eye and ear open for any of several movies that lit my fire from childhood forward. Those spirits, and the ancient tales of baseball’s immortals and our local Houston Buffs never grow tired in my heart and soul, but I am going through a little tedium-dullness with the 2014 game from the lack of romantic mystery in today’s culture and the too visible presence of the ugly, self-serving and soul-sucking business side. When a business contract governing which money-monger group gets the biggest slice of the media pie is strong enough to keep most baseball fans from possibly seeing the Astros play for two critically important years, there is something rotten to the core that needs to be dug up and dumped, along with all those who put money so far ahead of the game’s bond with the people. We fans derive no growth in spirit from unaddressed putrification and decay.

Better yet, baseball fans who also may be having trouble finding the old spring baseball mojo this year, please check out something that made you smile in your own past. And go get it. It’s still there, if you know how to look.