Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Thank Goodness It’s Pun Day

March 7, 2014

toyyoda

The phrase “good pun” is an oxymoron in the minds of many. Of course in the City of Oxy, no one argues the judgment that most of the freeway drivers in that city are also Oxy-Morons.

Some puns, like the two we used here as insert pictures, require some visual assistance to communicate the pun effect, but most  are like the batch I received yesterday from good friend and colleague Miriam Edelman. – A clear few words alone instantly communicates a double meaning that some of us will find funny – if only for a nanosecond of quiet and physically still amusement. Each pun lands and then flies away from the mind like a mental, but momentary bluebird of happiness. It only stays long enough to take up mental space that could have been given over to a worry thought about something we cannot control.

Puns are little happy releases of pressure from the mind. – It is better to read one hundred new puns a day than it is to spend those same energies on one hundred worry thoughts each day over matters you cannot control.

Enjoy! It’s Pun Day! But if you enjoy giving up your throne in the center of the universe of serious business, it can be Pun Day any day you say it is! Even some time, every day!

Thank you, Miriam Edelman, and thanks to everyone who created this little box  of mind candy:

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will?  (It’s a dead give away.)]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts.  In feudalism your count votes.

puns-puns-23637652-225-224

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you’ll get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 

… Well said, punsters! Thanks for the nanosecond long mini-vacation!

Gulf Building Opens: July 28. 1929

March 6, 2014
The Gulf Building in Houston officially opened on July 28, 1929 as the tallest building in the USA south of Chicago.

The Gulf Building in Houston officially opened on July 28, 1929 as the tallest building in the USA south of Chicago.

 

HOUSTON’S GULF BUILDING OPENS

——————–

Tallest Office Edifice South of Chicago

——————–

Houston, July 27 (AP) – The 37 story Gulf Building erected here by Jesse H. Jones will be opened formally to the public Sunday (July 28), although some sections of the structure have already been put to use.

This structure, the tallest building south of Chicago, is 428.8 feet in height. There are 1000 offices n the building, and its estimated population is 2,500, with a daily flow of approximately 35,000.

Jones Is Active

The Gulf Building is the latest structure to be built here by Jones, who has erected some score of major buildings in Houston during the past 15 years. In addition to his building activity in this city, Jones has built extensively in Fort Worth and Dallas, Texas, and New York City.

Italian Fresco

One of the features of the Gulf Building, which is attracting wide attention, is a group of eight murals done in Italian fresco and Pompeian colors depicting the history of Texas from the earliest days which history has recorded up to the present time.

Mounted on the roof of the building is an aerial beacon, said to be the most powerful in this section, for the guidance of night fliers.

~ Associated Press, Port Arthur News, Saturday, July 28, 1929, Page 2

The Gulf Building Today is now called the Chase  Tower.

Now heading toward its 85th birthday this summer, The Gulf Building today is now called the JPMorgan Chase Building..

 

What’s Wrong with This Picture?

March 5, 2014
"Give me some strokes for my new maturity, folks!" - Johnny Manzel

“Give me some strokes for my new maturity, folks!”
– Johnny Manziel

The NFL season ends with the Super Bowl on February 2, 2014. Then, from February 3, 2014 onward, all live sports talk radio shows are not about the NBA or the upcoming MLB season. The  only question that now keeps coming up is: “Will the Houston Texans take Johnny Manziel with their first pick in the 2014 season draft on May 8, 2014?

"Strokes? I'll give you some strokes!" - Vladimir Putin

“Strokes? I’ll give you some strokes!”
– Vladimir Putin

Our Pecan Park Eagle questions are these:

1) Is Johnny Manziel, or the first pick in the NFL draft, more important to fans than either basketball or baseball?

2) Does  the apparently no-longer-so-wide world of sports really need a little over three months to think and talk only of what is going to happen to Johnny Manziel?

3) What happened to seasonal interest in the Rockets and Texans? Was their incredibly blundered TV plan so fatal to fan interest that its killed fan interest among those who can still no longer see their games on TV?

4) In the Astros’ case, have they simply so buried themselves so deep in losing that fans no longer believe in their comeback plan?

5) Will this subject-fixation on Manziel be the death of talk radio? – Or will a steady diet of the same food source have the same impact on radio talk shows that it does upon cockroaches? – Will it simply cause them to multiply and crawl all over the wide world of electronic broadcast and contact media?

6) Has the end of the world already arrived – and simply slipped by my normally agile and alert mind? – Or is the Manziel radio fixation simply a form of purgatory that the sports gods have vented upon us in a fit of boredom and wrath over the incredible ability of the many who buy into it as the only important subject in the world?

7) What about Vladimir Putin? – Is anybody going to draft him as the best wide deceiver in the world?

8) What do you think is wrong with this picture?

Glenn McCarthy Pushed for Football World Series

March 4, 2014

Glenn McCarthy was once the most flamboyant wildcatter millionaire in the  Oil Capitol of the World. Worth about $160,000,000 (or much more) by 1949, the former newsboy turned Aggie, where he also “got the boot for baring”, according to an Associate Press retrospective story in 1949. on his way to additional stuudent tenures at Tulane and Rice before making it  big in the raw, black goald millions by the barrel word of becoming of becoming one of the best at making some of the biggest and earliest finds in the  great oil patches that was Texas from the 1930s forward. It  wasn’t all a straight up rocket shot either. McCarthy lost his shirt several times over before wealth began to stick more often than it happened to disappear.

McCarthy would always have some money problems. Managing money was not his forte. His innate talent rested in the high ceiling of his belief in life’s possibilities. It was that same passionate drive in McCarthy that spurred him to build the great Shamrock Hotel in Houston in 1948. It was such an outlandish accomplishment for its time and place in the middle of the 20th century that made an indelible impression on fiction writer Edna Ferber. By the time that Ferber later published her seminal stereotype of good old boy Texas in the 1950s, Glenn McCarthy had become her model for Jett Rink, the hard-drinking, wealthy S.O.B. who also opened a “bigger than Heaven, but more fun than hell” hotel in Houston for the same crowd of folks.

Glenn McCarthy 1907-1988

Glenn McCarthy
1907-1988

At any rate, most people don’t realize that Glenn McCarthy probably was the first to formally suggest a final game of the professional football season that could have become that sport’s first “Super Bowl”. He simply did not have that language to wrap around his idea. McCarthy called his game “The World Series” of pro football. It was a plan he devised to (1) raise money for charity; and (2) help the NFL settle their differences with the upstart newer league that had sprung up to compete for players and fan dollars as the All America Conference (ACC).

McCarthy proposed a game between the champions of each circuit at an agreed upon major city venue at either New York City, Los Angeles, or Chicago. The winning team would receive $75,000, the losers $50,000, with profits going to the Damon Runyon Cancer Fund, the Shriners’ Crippled Children’s Hospital, and the  National Kids’ Day Foundation.

The fledgling AAC jumped all over the idea with approval, even offering to donate their earned share to charity, but the NFL flatly turned it down through Commissioner Bert Bell.  As a public relations counter move, Bell did offer to play an all-NFL All Star Game for Charity, but McCarthy and his backers were not enthused. They simply had to come to terms with the fact that the established NFL, even nine years prior to their big 1958 TV championship game breakthrough with Baltimore at New York had no interest in establishing an inter-league championship game in 1948 that would be tantamount to their recognition that the ACC even had a right to exist.

Some issues that exist in every power struggle never change.

Does Baseball Need to Speed Up Its Games?

March 3, 2014
Where are the baseball fans of 2034? Sre they in stands now, in 2014? Or will baseball have to recruit them?

Where are the baseball fans of 2034? Are they in the stands now, in 2014? Or will baseball have to recruit them?

I just had one of those damnable experiences in which about a half hour of thought and writing on this subject was deleted in some inexplicable way – and now I have neither the time nor second-wind energy to restate it all.

Maybe that’s for the best. The questions are the important part here.

(1) With the younger baseball fan generations being so wired into the digital age, and with baseball being only one of their many leisure time opportunities in childhood, should baseball simply  do nothing but leave the game to play out its appeal as always?

(2) Should baseball take steps to shorten the games for the sake of holding onto the attention spans of a less patient fan population?

(3) What else can baseball do to help younger people bond with the game as fans?

(4) Are we asking the right questions on this subject here? (It rarely helps to get the right answers, if one is asking the wrong questions.)

Please post your opinions as comments on this column subject.

A Starting MLB Lineup: Lifetime Observer’s Notes

March 2, 2014
Looking for the signs of a winning team.

Looking for the signs of a winning team.

After 67 years of sandlot baseball, organized youth baseball, pick-up and put-together amateur baseball, and coaching kid baseball, plus watching almost endless streams of minor league baseball with the Houston Buffs and major league play by the Houston Colt .45s and Astros, one tends to synthesize certain ideas about the qualities we are looking for at each of the nine starting positions.

There’s nothing superlative, perfect, or final in what any of us see as the needs at each spot, and that sure includes me, the lifelong amateur fan. It’s simply an interesting exercise for each of to periodically examine our expectations for each position because of these are the parameters that ultimately determine our enthusiasm or frustration with certain players. Obviously, if a guy is not living up to what our general expectations are for a certain position, over time, we are going to be unhappy and looking for someone else.

Let’s start with what we’ve learned are our general expectations of MLB players at all positions:

(1) Speed is big. We will take as much as we can get, even though we know that speed is more important at positions like shortstop and center field than it is at first base and catcher, That being said, we’d prefer to have no human trees on the field at any position, if it can be avoided, and that includes at catcher. The guys who can’t run eventually always hurt the team.

(2) Quickness in reaction time is major, specially for infielders, but even for outfielders. It doesn’t help an outfielder to have a good intuitive feel for exactly how far and where a long fly ball is going if he lacks the reflexive ability to get there in time to make the best available play.

(3) Arm Strength stops a lot of runs from scoring. Even if we cut a break on arm strength for 2nd basemen, first basemen, and left fielders who possess other desirable qualities. if we can any of those positions also played by a guy with a “Clemente-like” arm, there are going to be fewer opponents scoring from second on hits to left, and few runners going from first to third on hits to right and center.

(4) Situational Alertness to where the play needs to go in advance of the actual batted ball and an almost intuitive ability to make the cut off men a possibility on any outfield throw to home or a base beyond first.

(5) Morale Builders is an idea that includes having positive-minded players who can both lead and follow, stay solid off the field, and take clear responsibility for their own mistakes and needs for correction. In other words, “Help Wanted. Good Guys Only. No Clubhouse Lawyers Need Apply.” – If I’m the manager, and I have to paddle your talented, but wild-haired butts upstream to the World Series all year, I’d sooner join Bruce Dern on his road trip to Lincoln, Nebraska to cash in that lottery ticket. If your idea of being the straw that stirs the team drink is being the  guy to constantly keep punching holes in the floor of our team rowboat as the rest of us try like hell to paddle the thing upstream, we’d sooner you left now. – “Just stand up. I’ll be happy to give you the push-off the side that you’ve earned.”

(6) Strong Intuitive Skills are not qualities that come easily, if at all, to some players. In psychological terms, all of us live on a continuum between being somewhere along the gradient line that separates those of who are strongly intuitive to those of us who are strongly sensory. And here’s the difference between those two spots on the perceptual range of how people see things:

Strongly Intuitive People have some strong ideas, based on a number of inputs, about what is going to happen next. In baseball, for example, center fielder Joe DiMaggio was very good about intuitively recognizing that a certain pull-hitting lefty opponent batter tended to hit late against a certain right-handed Yankee fastball pitcher and hit the ball late, more toward center or left. As a result, Joe D. would take a few steps to his right and that would often result in a catch or better play on the ball. Under the same circumstances, a Strongly Sensory center fielder would be more likely to only respond to the flight of the ball, and miss out on the DiMaggio intuitive edge. But this is also true, I strongly believe: Ballplayers who are basically sensory (only responding to what they experience through the five senses) often possess strong  compensatory skills, such as foot quickness and speed, working in their behalves.

(7) Strong Up the Middle is a baseball axiom I first read about as a kid. Personally, I have only grown in my appreciation for its importance over the year. You would lik to have your quickest, fastest, best armed athletes up the middle, even if you have to make some concessions on speed in the case of the catcher.

(8) Strike Zone Knowledgeable Contact Hitters are qualities I would seek out – and I would do my best to push the envelope away from the idea that we have to accept “good field/no hit” at shortstop and catcher, if we find players who can handle the defensive side at a high level. I would stress teaching the strike zone, the art of contact batting, and the importance of situational hitting.

(8) Catcher needs to be a good handler of pitchers, baseball’s equivalent of the defensive quarterback, and a guy with a good arm and good base runner deceptive skills. I’d like to have a catcher who could hit a minimum of .270 with about 15-20 HR a season, but  would prefer  to have Yogi Berra.

(9) First Base needs to have good foot speed, mobility and strong intuition for situational play. As a hitter, he’s a 3 to 6 hole guy, hopefully with enough power to produce a minimum of 35-50 homers, 100 + RBI, and a batting average around .280 minimum. How about Lou Gehrig?

(10) Second Base would be a great place for a .300 hitting good get-on-base guy. Jose Altuve’s my guy. but with a little improvement to his BA and OBP, but I would happily settle for Craig Biggio.

(11) Third Base has to be intuitive, quick, and athletic. Brooks Robinson is still my personal standard there, but I really liked Ken Caminiti when he first came up.

(12) Shortstop. Think Derek Jeter. Say no more.

(13) Left Field. Stan Musial.

(13) Center Field. Willie Mays. Nobody did it better.

(14) Right Field. Babe Ruth. I can dream, can’t I?

(15) Starting Pitcher. A rubber-armed version of Sandy Koufax works for me.

(16) DH. Ted Williams works for me.

There. I think we could win with that team. The issues that governed our expectations and the talent that manned our flag pursuit would require it of us. And, of course, the other 14 guys we picked to fill out our 24-main roster would not be cream puffs either.

Have a nice Sunday, everybody. And watch out for the rain that’s allegedly heading our way.

Movies Made in Houston

March 1, 2014

With the Academy Awards coming up again for us movie fans tomorrow night, it’s interesting to note today that a number of movies and one TV series have been made over the past half century that either feature Houston as a setting or use its locales as the site for some anonymous or “other place” story. Unfortunately, only “Terms of Endearment” with Shirley MacLaine and Jack Nicholson survive as first-rate films. The others, unless we give Hollywood fame walks to John Wayne for playing himself again in “Hellfighters” – and to Goldie Hawn, for doing a pretty good job in “The Sugarland Express”, are all pretty much garbage can liners and bird-cage catchers.

OK, maybe, “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” also belongs on our short list of acceptable effort, But this is Houston, not LaGrange.

Annotation: “The Sugarland Express” was made in 1974. Since that time, the good people on the City Council of that booming Houston suburb had separated their town’s name into the two words: “Sugar Land”. If anyone out there knows when and why they took this step, please leave a comment on this column to explain it, or else, e-mail me at houston.buff37@gmail.com. – Inquiring minds want to know.

Here’s the a link to the probably incomplete list of Houston-based or connected films compiled on Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_set_in_Houston

Here are the VHS covers to a few of the few Houston efforts and some brief comment:

1983

1983

They used a nice neighborhood near Rice to film this story of a middle-aged mother, her relationship with her coming of age daughter, and her flirtation with the astronaut bachelor neighbor,

1968

1968

Who can pass on “The Duke”? I never said I didn’t like to watch John Wayne playing Red Adair, if he were really John Wayne?

1987-88

1987-88

Houston Knights Cast

Houston Knights Cast

What a stinker of a show! – The only aspect that “HK” got right were those spot on puffy 80s doos!

1977

1977

They should have re-made this movie after the 2005 World Series and re-cast the murder victims.

 

1974

1974

One more time: Why and when did this city change its name from “Sugarland” to Sugar Land”???

1956

1956

How could a production team that had the common sense to cast veteran character actor Edward Arnold as a villain actually boil this movie into the exploding rotten egg it came to be? I don’t know, but they did it. I say I don’t know, but that’s just my nicer side as a critic oozing out. We all know how they did it: Single scene takes on a badly written and barely acted script were a good start. Then they went to every cliché about Houston as an overgrown hick, cowboy town and quickly found the shallow water in the pool of deep thought among criminal minds. If we are going to make a movie about Houston, it needs to be about a bunch of bumpkins trying to steal billions of barrels of oil. Right?

Oh well, if you find that Wikipedia left out your favorite Houston movie, let us hear from you. And if you have written a good script about the Houston we really are, please contact Martin Scorsese, or the Cohen Brothers, at your agent’s earliest convenience. We need to upgrade our city’s movie resume’.

 

 

 

Nebraska

February 28, 2014
Woody Grant and his son David prepare for a road trip in "Nebraska".

Woody Grant and his son David prepare for a road trip in “Nebraska”.

“Nebraska” could have been a movie named for any remote, out-in-the-boondocks, sparsely populated, and hardly 21st century acculturated community 0f hardworking people living out or working pretty hard at trying to dodge the hard the same basic hard realities of everyday life.

Don’t recall a single cell phone in use as a prop in this movie. If there was one in play, it wasn’t memorable. The biggest high-tech occurrence in the film occurs on a Sunday afternoon when all the aging brothers, some of them, including Bruce Dern’s character, are gathered in one of their houses in Hawthorne, Nebraska to watch Detroit and Chicago play a NFL game on national television. They all sit there, staring silently at the screen, a couple even asleep with their mouths falling open into the agape position, watching with all the animation of a petrified human forest.

“West Texas”, “South Texas”, or even “Beeville” would have worked equally well as specific titles and community settings.

Bruce Dern plays Woody Grant, an old man slipping hard into dementia who late in life learns that not even alcohol can protect him any longer from feeling “used up” and “put upon” by the vagaries of aging. When a man is too old to work, has lost his driver’s license, and is pretty much imprisoned at home in his the small clapboard house he shares with his nagging wife in Billings, Montana, and where the only other sound of constancy is the howling wind, Woody needs a dream, even a delusional one, to get himself on the road to “something” again – or maybe, for the first time.

The plot device is simple. Woody finds out from one of those mail ads that he’s “won a million dollars” from a company drawing in Lincoln, Nebraska. Woody ignores, or chooses not to see the second part of this news that clearly states he’s won “if” he also has proof that  he holds the winning number. That part doesn’t matter, at first. It was enough news to get Woody out there trying to either walk or hitchhike  his way alone to Nebraska to claim his prize.

Will Forte, who plays one of Woody’s two sons, David Grant, sees the scam that his father has bought into, but fails to reach his father with the truth about this “come on.” The son also sees the larger truth that drives his father. All he’s got at home is a nagging wife and nothing to feel good about or look forward to doing with his basically used up time on earth in failing health. Given the gravity of that greater weight, David Grant agrees to drive his father to Lincoln to collect the prize.

What happens from here is one of the most beautifully executed movies I’ve seen in a very long time. Filmed in black and white on wide-screen, the drab and dooming grays of the landscape serve only to amplify the desperation that runs loudly through the mostly quiet landscape of this fine story, but I wouldn’t spoil the rest of it for anything in the world. You have to see it.

Dern and Forte are magnificent as father and son – June Squibb, who plays Woody’s cantankerous wife, Kate Grant, are the driving forces of a funny, but sad American family story. As for as “family” goes, it’s not what we would have considered a family film in my day. There are certain depictions, ideas, and language here that are not suitable in my mind for children, but the story is a “don’t miss it” for adults.

Least/Best Athletic Actors in Baseball Movies

February 24, 2014

5) Ronald Reagan as Grover Cleveland Alexander in “The Winning Team”

Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan loved baseball, but his punting as George Gipp was far better than his pitching as Pete Alexander.

4) Jimmy Stewart as Monty Stratton in “The Stratton Story”

Jimmy Stewart

Jimmy Stewart

This part of Stewart’s stretch pitch looked pretty good. If only he could have escaped having to go through the other motions required for the delivery of what appears to be an unhittable pitch.

3) Ray Milland as Mike Kelly in “It Happens Every Spring”

Ray Milland

Ray Milland

If only Jimmy Stewart could have seen Ray Milland try acting out the entire wind up and delivery.

2) Gary Cooper as Lou Gehrig in “Pride of the Yankees”

Lou Gehrig

Lou Gehrig

As you probably know, right-handed Gary Cooper had to wear a jersey wit an inverted # 4 and “NY” logo and then run to 3rd base when he hit the ball to make it look as though he was capable of batting left-handed when the film was then developed in reverse.

Nuff Sed.

1) Anthony Perkins as Jimmy Peirsall in “Fear Strikes Out”

Anthony Perkins (right)

Anthony Perkins (right)

Athleticism? If all human beings from the beginning of time possessed only the genetic talents of Tony Perkins, there never would have been a sport called baseball, or any other team sport, or the initiation of any regular event of competition among nations known today as either the summer or winter Olympics.

 

On the other hand, my vote for the greatest actor/athletes of all time is a three-way tie between …

1t) Burt Lancaster as Jim Thorpe in “Jim Thorpe, All American”

Burt Lancaster (R) who played the great Olympian Jim Thorpe (L).

Burt Lancaster (R) who played the great Olympian Jim Thorpe (L).

1t) Robert Redford as Roy Hobbs in “The Natural”

Robert Redford

Robert Redford

1t) Kevin Costner as Crash Davis in “Bull Durham”

Kevin Costner

Kevin Costner

Dr. Godbold Was a Visionary

February 23, 2014
Dr. Edgar Godbold Early 20th Century Educator

Dr. Edgar Godbold
Early 20th Century Educator

Dr. Edgar Godbold, the 1925 President of Howard Payne College, may not not have been Leonardo Da Vinci, but he was a visionary, nonetheless, and most appropriately named for his great technological expectations of the future. He just missed the timing on this one as we now await a development he predicted that may not come in our lifetime, but will surely get here at some point in the next 25-50 years – cars that “drive” themselves with the aid of some kind of wireless electronic signal.

Here’s how Dr. Godbold called the shot in an Associated Press article of August 17, 1925:

____________________

RADIO-DRIVEN AUTOS SOON FORECAST BY COLLEGE HEAD

By Associated Press

Belton, Tex. Aug.  16 – In addressing a class of fifty graduates of the summer  school of Baylor College, Dr. Edgar Godbold, President of Howard Payne college, predicted that the girls would live to see automobiles steered and driven by radio.

The owner of a car can drive to his place of business in the morning alight and return the car driverless and empty to its garage by wireless waves and when it is desired to be used for the return trip it can be summoned in the same manner. This will solve the problem of finding suffficient parking space for cars, he said.

~ Galveston Daily News, August 17, 1925, Page 2.

____________________