* My apologies to those clicking here on the link entitled “early tv jingos” expecting to see an early times list of chauvinists, nationalists, and super-patriots who may have tried to use TV in the early days as a bully pulpit with the American people. That was never my intention. I meant to write “jingles” ~ little sales songs ~ and not human political type “jingos” that we usually associate with politics ~ but I was overwhelmed by a life-long running pattern of human error that I cannot change in the way the post originally was put in place for the column notification e-mail.
Thanks to my good friend, Tom Hunter, I was able to jangle over to the word “jingle” ~ the correct intended word ~ on the places in need of change in the title and text of this actual column. I’m glad I don’t have to be perfect or I’d never get anything written into print. ~ I’d rather have an honest problem with random error than be one who has the need to always be right ~ even when I’m proved wrong.
Hope you will understand and forgive. ~ Bill McCurdy
The Merry Texaco Men
The Milton Berle Show
Texaco Star Theater
The Merry Texaco Men
Oh, we’re the men of Texaco!
We work from Maine to Mexico!
There’s nothing like this Texaco of ours!
Our show tonight is powerful!
We’ll wow you with an hourful!
Of howls from a showerful of stars!
We’re the merry Texaco-men!
Tonight we may be showmen!
Tomorrow we’ll be servicing your cars!
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BRYLCREAM MEN’S HAIR TONIC
BRYLCREAM! ~ a little dab’ll do ya!
BRYLCREAM! ~ you’ll look so debonair!
BRYLCREAM! ~ the gals will all pursue ya!
SIMPLY-RUB-A-LITTLE-IN-YOUR-HAIR!
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A NOW FORGOTTEN HAIR RESTORATION PRODUCT
THIS IS THE STORY OF ~ BOBBY THE BALD ONE!
HE LOST HIS GIRL ‘CAUSE ~ HIS HAIR WAS FALLIN!
ALL HE WANTED WAS ~ A NEW HEAD OF HAIR!
TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT ~ BUT THE FATES DON’T CARE!
(I never lost my hair so maybe that’s why today I only recall the jingle’s dilemma ~ and not its commercial solution.)
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AJAX KITCHEN/BATH TILE CLEANSER
AND SO ~ USE AJAX! ~ BOOM! BOOM!
THE FOAMING CLEANSER! ~ BODDA BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
FLOATS THE DIRT ~ RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN!
YOU’LL SYOP PAYING ~ THE ELBOW TAX!
WHEN Y0U START CLEANING ~ WITH AJAX!
PICK UP SOME AJAX! ~ BOOM! BOOM!
THE FOAMING CLEANSER! ~ BODDA BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
MAKE CLEANING HOUSE ~ AS RIGHT AS RAIN!
BODDA! BODDA! BODDA! BOOM! ~ AJAX!!!
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PEPSIDENT TOOTH PASTE
YOU’LL WONDER WHERE ~ THE YELLOW WENT!
WHEN YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH PEPSIDENT
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BURGER KING (2)
HOLD THE PICKLE! ~ SPREAD THE LETTUCE!
SPECIAL ORDERS DON’T UPSET US!
ALL WE ASK IS ~ THAT YOU LET US,
SERVE IT YOUR WAY!
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THE BIGGER THE BURGER ~ THE BETTER THE BURGER!
THE BURGERS ARE BIGGER ~ AT BURGER KING!
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McDONALD’S
You deserve a break today!
So get out ~ and get away,
~ To McDonald’s!
We’ll do it all for you!
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ASTROWORLD
ASTROWORLD! ~ ASTROWORLD!
IT’S A WONDERFUL WORLD OF FUN, FUN, FUN!
ASTROWORLD! ~ ASTROWORLD!
AND THE PARTY’S JUST BEGUN!
SMILING FACES ~ EVERYWHERE!
THRILLS AND RIDES THAT ALL MAY SHARE!
ASTROWORLD! ~ ASTROWORLD!
IT’S A WONDERFUL WORLD OF FUN!
Song writer Dene Hofheinz could deliver the lyrics precisely, but here’s hoping we all got the message on that earlier simpler time in Houston’s history from the above singularly flawed recollection. ~ Astroworld was a great dual place for either a good old-fashioned date or family fun. It’s too bad we couldn’t have brought it with us into the cellphone and internet surreal world of the 21st century, but that’s how life and change variantly work over time, isn’t it?
“We can’t always get what we want.” ~ Mick Jagger.
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If you have some early TV commercial jingles that have stuck in your mind all these years, we would love to read them in the comment section below, so please be generous with us. We were all in same boat with the great electronic Cyclops that invaded and forever changed our culture in the middle of the 20th century. It’s a good feeling for us to share these memories with you ~ and we hope you will now treat yourself to the same possibility.
Regards and One More Time ~ Happy New Year!
******************************
Bill McCurdy
Principal Writer, Editor, Publisher
The Pecan Park Eagle
The Pecan Park Eagle 
January 4, 2019 at 2:35 pm |
My favorite of all time was a Right Guard anti-perspirant commercial with Muhammad Ali where the guy opens the medicine cabinet, sees Ali, and says “Hi Guy!!” Ali responds with this ….
My name is not Guy,
it’s Muhammad Ali
And here’s some advice
I’m going to give you for free.
Right Guard anti-perspirant,
It’s a powerful spray.
One shot in the morning
And you’re good for the day.
Now believe what I say,
Because I’m always right.
Right Guard gives those odors
One heck of a fight.
Now others may say
That they are the latest,
But brother, next to me,
Right Guard is the greatest!!
January 4, 2019 at 3:30 pm |
“Half the fun of having feet is Red Goose Shoes.”
January 4, 2019 at 4:09 pm |
It’s not a jingle, but I miss seeing Mr. Whipple admonishing customers with, “Don’t squeeze the Charmin.” These days he’d be derided as a ‘toilet paper Nazi’ by the overly sensitive crowd.
January 4, 2019 at 4:47 pm |
“See the USA in your Chevrolet
America is asking you to call
Drive your Chevrolet through the USA
America’s the greatest land of all”
Bill Hickman
January 4, 2019 at 4:51 pm |
Or Chevy’s 1970s jingle:
“Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet,
They go together in the good ol’ USA.”
January 4, 2019 at 7:01 pm |
And then there was the parody of those jingles that Nike did in the 1990s:
We’re ballplayers and we’re ok
We’re not fat and lazy like the owners say
Each spring we train real hard
So we look good on our baseball cards!
Baseball players or so they say
They’d rather be doing ads for Ben-Gay
If we say “Get in shape” they don’t care
They’ll ink the deal to hawk underwear
We’re ballplayers and we’re ok
Get in shape by Opening Day
Thanks to these we’ll be ready to play
Or we’ll ship your butts to Double-A!
If the opening line, “We’re ballplayers are we’re ok,” sounds familiar in a Monty Python sense, the commercial jingle was written by Terry Gilliam, who was also responsible for “I’m a Lumberjack (And I’m OK)”
January 4, 2019 at 7:21 pm |
Here’s another oldie:
“Double your pleasure
Double your fun
It’s the right one
The Doublemint gum.”
Sung by a pair of pretty young ladies known as the Doublemint twins.
Bill Hickman