‘Twas the Week Before Astros Christmas
With Apologies to CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE
‘Twas the week before Christmas ~ at Minute Maid Park,
Not a firework was firing ~ not even a spark;
The deal socks were hung ~ by Jeff Luhnow with care,
In hopes that good traders ~ might soon find them there.
A few deals lay nestled ~ all snug in new beds;
As visions of sugar-plums ~ waltzed new Astro heads;
And Crane in his ‘kerchief ~ and Ryan in his cap,
Had settled their brains ~ for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the turf ~ there arose such a clatter,
All sprang from their beds ~ to see what’s the matter.
Away to their windows ~ they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters ~ and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast ~ of the low clouds’ soft glow,
Cast a luster of midday ~ to all objects below,
When to wondering eyes ~ soon ~ to all did appear,
But a miniature sleigh ~ and eight tiny reindeer.
A.J. Hinch as the driver ~ stepped lively and quick,
All thought for a moment ~ he must be St. Nick!
More rapid than eagles ~ his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted ~ and called them by name:
“Now, JOSE! ~ Now, CARLOS! ~ Now ALEX! ~ GEORGE SPRINGER!
On, JUSTIN! ~ On, GERRIT! ~ On, YULI! ~ Please BRING HER!
From the TOP of the FIRST! ~ To the LAST of the NINE!
Now dash away! ~ Dash away! ~ Dash away FINE!”
As the rains from old Harvey ~ once incessantly flew,
Please take to the sky again ~ with your remedy brew;
Go up to the rooftop ~ as you first coursers do,
And bring home the Series ~ with your Astros Sleigh Crew!
With the sleigh full of Astros ~ and A.J. Hinch too,
There was prancing and pawing ~ of each cleated shoe.
And then ~ in a twinkling ~ they gazed at the roof,
They only saw orange ~ for their full final proof.
As they drew in their heads ~ and were turning around,
Down the Jeff Luhnow chimney ~ they came with a bound.
Decked out in orange fur ~ from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished ~ with ashes and soot.
Time to leave gifts ~ at the boss’s pavilion;
Hinch would trade them all now ~ for new talent gazillion.
But he knew these were gifts ~ nothing more to discuss;
You can’t buy new players ~ at the store ~ Toys R Us.
A bundle of those toys ~ he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler ~ just opening his pack.
His eyes ~ how they twinkled! ~ His dimples ~ how merry!
His cheeks were like roses ~ his nose like a cherry!
His broad smiling mouth aimed at life ~ like a bow,
And his shaved lantern chin ~ waved his way in a glow;
The stump of a pipe ~ never dampened his teeth,
He would not abide smoking ~ like an early death wreath.
He spoke not a word ~ but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; ~ then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger ~ aside of his nose,
And giving a nod ~ up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh ~ to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew ~ like the down of a thistle.
But all heard him exclaim ~ ‘ere he drove out of sight ~
“Happy Christmas to all ~ for a GREAT Astro Night!”
******************************
Bill McCurdy
Principal Writer, Editor, Publisher
The Pecan Park Eagle
December 20, 2018 at 1:15 am |
Maxwell Kates likes this
December 21, 2018 at 4:09 pm |
Merry Christmas Bill