Que Sera, Astroturf

Que Sera, Astroturf

(Go to the tune of “Que Sera, Sera”, almost as sung by Doris Day. I relocated some of the musical note phrasings in both the melody and the italicized chorus voice version here. If I could sing it for you, you would immediately hear how each word fits each note used in exactly the right place. If we are ever in the same place, and this script is available, I will be happy to demonstrate. ~ And pardon me for trying too hard. ~ I just never got over the need to give everything I do my best effort. I’m convinced. If I could have thrown the ball 100 mph, I might have been one hell of a closer ~ and without once slugging my own jaw on days that things didn’t go well.)


When I was JUST an Astros Pup,

I played the outfield ~ out in the Dome!

On a field of sensation ~ first in the nation,

Heat had no place ~ to roam!


Que Sera, Young Pup,

We’ve got you all covered up!

Our roof is a ~ canopy,

For our full blast ~ real big ~ AC!


When I ran UP ~ to catch a ball,

I raised my BUG EYES ~ and WHAT did I see?

Nothing like baseballs ~ Round falling baseballs!

That’s when it dawned ~ on me!


I cannot SEE ~ the ball,

Just girders and glare ~ that’s all!

Now fearing a mighty fall

From a ball that finds me ~ so small!        


Then they got busy ~ fixing things up,

Painting the ROOF ~ did SURE save this pup!

We all could see again ~ catches not “E”s again,

Grinning wide ~ like a VIC-tory cup!


Que Sera, Green Grass,

Your time now is ~ sure to pass,

With no sun ~ the grass must go,

Que Sera, Green Grass!


Then they found ~ AS-tro-TURF,

In Mon-SAN-to’s ~ door-mat surf,

Blew-it=up ~ to a field-sized girth,

Que Sera, ~ Astroturf! *

And not too many copycat covered stadiums down the road from these early Que Seras, people started to miss real grass playing fields. So, they started building these newer coliseums of covered and air-conditioned comfort with movable roofs that opened and closed to sunlight at will. That way, people could have their real grass back. All they had to do was keep their roofs open long enough during the daylight hours to keep real grass alive and thriving on the field of action. And that’s pretty much the current wisdom on the subject in 2018, but the educational part of this lesson began in Houston, 53 years ago, with the grand opening of the mother of them all, the Astrodome.

 The People of Houston don’t have to change their apartments to change the world. Judge Hofheinz and all the folks at the Houston Astros did that for them, starting back in 1965 with the opening of the Astrodome, or even earlier, whenever it was that the Judge’s mind committed to tying Houston’s bid for major league baseball to the construction of a covered and air-conditioned stadium …. Que Sera, Astroturf!


Author’s Note: Please don’t blame my artist brother, John McCurdy, for the cartoon I used in this column. I did it about three years ago, long before my brother ever appeared in print here. It just happened to fit the parody subject of today’s freshly born take on a very old Astrodome legendary historical story. ~ Thanks for your patience and support. ~ Bill McCurdy



Bill McCurdy

Principal Writer, Editor, Publisher

The Pecan Park Eagle



















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One Response to “Que Sera, Astroturf”

  1. Wayne A Chandler Says:

    Well done, Bill. You surely are talented, and you bring back memories. Thanks.

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