“Even with a brain, I doubt I could seen the Astros jumping out to a 17-7 record and a 6 game lead in the 2015 AL West race!”
The Wizards of Odds
By Bill McCurdy (2015)
(I actually wrote this two years ago, but forgot about it until today. So, I updated it to include Chicago in the mix, and, yes – in case it’s not obvious, the lyrics are singable to the Scarecrow’s lamentation, “If I Only Had A Brain”.)
I could research this for hours
Confirming batting powers
Consulting with my brain
And my head I’d be scratchin’
While my thoughts were busy hatchin’
On the SABR baseball train.
I’d unravel any riddle
For any individ’le
From Mexico to Spain
With these thoughts – I’d be thinkin’
I can be Bill James or Lincoln
If I only had a brain
Oh, I – would tell you why – K’s are three and walks are four
I could think of things I never thunk before
I’d do the math – and think some more
I will not be just a Selig
My head with ceiling peeling
My heart all full of pain
I will dance and be merry
Life will be a ding-a-derry
On the SABR baseball train
(Shift gears here on the melody after these three lines of shouted dialogue.)
“ So – where are we going, this summer and next? To Oz? – To Oz! No Sir! – No Maam! – We were off to Philadelphia in 2013! – Then to Houston in 2014 ! – Now to Chicago in 2015!! – Allright! – Pick ‘em up! – And move ‘em on!”
WE’RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARDS,
THE WONDERFUL WIZARDS OF ODDS!
OF BATTED BALLS AND GREAT PITCH CALLS
THE GREATEST THAT BASEBALL COULD DO BECAUSE,
…. OUR SABR OWNS – THE WIZARDS,
THE WONDERFUL WIZARDS OF ODDS!
Tags: Wizard of Odds Parody
The Pecan Park Eagle 
Leave a comment