The Pecan Park Eagle

HEART OF A CHAMPION,
HEART OF A CLOWN,
FIND SOME FUN,
AND SPREAD IT AROUND.

Top Ten Things Viewers Can Expect at NRG Stadium in 2014 NFL Season

10) Many fans will wear #90 jerseys in support of DE Jadeveon Clowney.

 9) Some of the jersey-attired fans will also be wearing clown masks and circus makeup.

8) As the two defensive ends, JJ Watt and Jadeveon Clowney may become better known in the NFL as “Hack and Sack”, “Lightning and Thunder”, or “Paper and Plastic – it’s just a question of how you get bagged, smitten, or packaged, if you are an enemy ball carrier.

7) Texans GM Rick Smith and Coach Bill O’Brien will legally change their names to “Barnum and “Bailey”.

6) Team Owner Bob McNair will continue to be known by his players at contract time as “The Wizard of O000S” for all the zeroes he approves as the round figures that follow the crooked numbers in their player contracts.

5) McNair will continue to remind us of the Wizard of Oz when he says that Matt Schaub would still be his QB “if he only had the heart, the brain, and the courage for it.”

4) At some point in the season, Jadeveon Clowney will take all of his defensive player teammates with him to hear the opera we all know and love as “Pagliacci”. They will make the trip in one Toyota Prius.

3) Texan defensive players blowing air horns on the field will become an approved instrument for defensive celebrations by Jadeveon Clowney, but only in home games at NRG Stadium.

2) The Houston Astros will buy season tickets to Texas home games – just to try and find out “what’s so funny” about their windmill-churning turnstiles and to learn more about how their football brethren get away will selling only beer and cotton candy at NRG Stadium.

1) Fans suffering from “Coulrophobia” (the fear of clowns) will stay away from 2014 Texans home games in droves.

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